


Snippets From Nowhere

by hatehateslove



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:25:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 19,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7696396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatehateslove/pseuds/hatehateslove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of short snippets from stories I may or may never write</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“What should I wear?” 

“Clothes.”

“Thanks Drew.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes, “It’s just dinner at Matt’s, how hard could this be?”

“I don’t own anything but sports shit.”

“And whose fault is that, junkie?

Neil sighed before turning back to his closet full of sweatpants, sweatshirts, track pants, jerseys, and other Exy-related items of clothing. 

“What about that green dress shirt you wore on new years?” 

Neil scrunched his brow in confusion, “…We didn’t do anything last New Years?” 

Andrew tsk’ed, “Not last New Years, doofus, it was 3 years ago.” 

Neil looked taken aback. “What - How do…” 

“Just fucking wear it.” 

Neil tilted his head in wonder, smiling softly to himself, before turning to look for said dress shirt. Andrew’s eidetic memory surprising Neil not for the first time, and certainly not the last. 


	2. Chapter 2

Neil’s ears were ringing, the sound of the guys’ lockers opening and closing fading along with their voices. HIs vision was tunneling, he grabbed his towel and stumbled out of the shower stall. 

His breath was coming in short bursts, he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, leading to hiccuping breaths. 

His jaw locked, keeping him from calling Andrew, or anyone for that matter. 

* * *

Matt always noticed when Neil went and came back from his shower. He’d only started showering with them recently and Matt wasn’t going to give anyone a chance to give Neil a hard time for it. 

After every practice and game, Neil would shower and change in four and a half minutes on the dot. But it had been four minutes and the shower hadn’t closed. Neil still hadn’t come out. 

Matt shifted his attention to Andrew. He looked out of it, zoned out almost. Matt furrowed his brow and went to check on Neil.

* * *

“Neil?” Matt called softly, giving Neil a heads-up that he was coming in, just in case. 

There was no answer, but as Matt came closer, he saw the shower on but Neil not in it. Matt walked around the corner to see Neil on the ground, his head between his knees. 

“Neil.” Matt came to a stop a foot away from him, giving Neil space. “Neil -” 

Neil’s breath was still coming in hiccups, he had yet to notice Matt. 

“Neil,” A little louder now, “Neil, it’s Matt. Hey, It’s ok. You’re safe.” 

Matt shuffled closer, kneeling in front of Neil, “Hey, Neil, you’re ok.” 

Neil’s shoulders shook, he slowly lifted his head, his eyes blood-shot. His jaw clenched. Matt brought up a hand, making sure Neil saw it before placing it on his shoulder. 

He pressed down, grounding Neil, much like Andrew would by pressing on the back of Neil’s neck. 

Neil closed his eyes, after a minute his jaw unclenched. 

Matt sat there for another few minutes. Finally, Neil’s breathing slowed.

He made sure Neil was ok before getting up to close the shower. He grabbed Neil’s clothes and turned as Neil put them on. 

They walked out into an empty locker room. No one to ask questions or look on in confusion. 

Matt could only hope that Andrew’d had a hand in that. 

 

* * *

[jostxnneil](http://jostxnneil.tumblr.com/) asked:

Well now you have to write it. I mean wtf you can't leave me hanging like that I NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!? Srry I rlly love you and your writing pls post more

 

* * *

ahaha I totally saw this coming as as consequence of my Snippets From Nowhere - I’ll make this exception but only hc’s nothing more! 

  * Neil’s been having an off week
  * Andrew’s been more distant than usual 
  * His scars had been bothering him, he wasn’t sure, but it was random bouts of phantom-pain that would over come him and he didn’t understand it
  * He didn’t say anything bc he didn’t need to worry the Foxes more than he had already 
  * He was having nightmares, which he’d though he’d gotten over
  * And to top it all off, he’d _lightly_ injured his left hand in a m i n o r car crash - nothing huge, but enough to send him into a spell of panic attacks over the thought of not being able to play, even if it wasn’t his dominant hand
  * And so it was after a home game, they’d won by a slim margin. His hand was twinging in pain and his arms were burning from both strain and the phantom-pain that was all in his head
  * Andrew hadn’t played very well, letting in easy blocks and costing them points
  * Neil had gone to shower but as soon as the water had engulfed him, he felt like he was drowning, he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs, he grabbed his towel and Matt [happened](https://hatehateslove.tumblr.com/post/148990553506/neils-ears-were-ringing-the-sound-of-the-guys) 


  * Andrew was, in fact, behind the guys clearing out the locker room
  * Andrew wasn’t mad at Neil 
  * Andrew wa having nightmares/flashbacks of his own
  * But
  * It wasn’t himself that he was worried about
  * He had to know that, should he be unable to help Neil, if he weren’t there, wasn’t able to be there for Neil - that Neil had someone else
  * Andrew wanted to make sure that Matt could handle Neil when he had an episode
  * Andrew needed to know if he could trust Matt
  * If he could trust Matt with Neil 
  * Just in case 



 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Steve is worried. 

Bucky stopped eating days ago. His nightmares are back in full force, he hardly comes out of their room. Steve’s woken up to Bucky yelling himself hoarse while being held down by imaginary restraints. The dark circles are darker than ever. He hasn’t showered in weeks. He stopped speaking around the same time he stopped eating. He’s deteriorating and Steve doesn’t know what to do. 

He can’t lose Bucky after everything he went through to get him back. 

It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon when Bucky shuffles out of their room to get coffee. He walks past the living room where Sam and Steve are watching a football game.

Bucky’s eyes narrow imperceptibly, he moves into the kitchen. (A memory of a ‘41 baseball game tugs at him) 

Steve turns when he hears the coffee machine whir on. “Hey, Buck.” Bucky nods at him, his throat dry with disuse. Sam doesn’t look up from the TV.  

He rummages around the cupboard for a mug, then checks the dishwasher and the sink, nothing. He grits his teeth as he fills a glass with tap water and drinks. He checks their room for mugs, but Steve had cleaned up. He walks past the living room again, just as Sam lifts a mug to his lips. 

Bucky bites his tongue to keep from grabbing it from Sam’s hands. 

There has to be another mug somewhere, he rechecks the cabinets, nothing. He’s seething. He just wants some goddamn coffee. He caves and grabs a bowl and places it under the Keurig. The water’s heated, he just needs a -

There’s no more coffee. 

He steps back, taking it in. There’s no more coffee. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply to keep the rage from boiling over. There’s no more - he clenches his jaw and purses his lips. No more coffee. His hands clench into fists at his sides then unclench and clench again. 

He ~~furiously~~ calmly ~~marches~~ walks into the living room and snatches the half empty mug of the last of their coffee out of Sam’s hands. 

“Hey man, what the f-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

Sam looks affronted. 

Steve’s not sure whether to be relieved or surprised or grateful or confused, he settles for a bit of everything.

“No. Give me my coffee - hEY!” As Bucky lifts the mug to his lips and takes a gulp. “Steve!?” Sam turns to Steve who just shrugs with a ‘you’re on your own, bud’ look.

Instead of trying to take the mug back, Sam hits it out of Bucky’s hand. They both stare at the broken mug, in a puddle of the last of their coffee. Bucky’s head turns back to look at Sam, who looks back just as Bucky’s hands come up to shove him. 

Steve watches as his two best friends fight, wresting on their living room floor, the mug abandoned. 

They were gonna be alright. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked: How about the Foxes reaction to finding out about Neil's mum being abusive and/or him having to burn and bury her

 “I do.”

The Foxes stopped. Was - Did - 

Jack spat, “Whatever. It’s not like she loved you anyway.” 

“Apparently, neither did yours.” Neil was tired. He was so tired of the staring, of the fighting, of the arguments. 

“Shut up, fucker.” And with that Jack stormed off the field. This was the second time this week that he’d stormed off during practice. Neil was at his wits end.

Dan shot a look at Matt. Matt shot one to Allison. Allison to Renee. Renee to Andrew. 

Kevin didn’t look surprised. Nicky looked devastated. Aaron was too far to have heard the  exchange, and he didn’t look like he’d bother with it anyway. 

Andrew was watching Neil. 

Neil swallowed around the lump in his throat. His mother had loved him. He knew that. She had. She wouldn’t have hurt him to protect him if she hadn’t. 

She had loved him. He was sure. 

Neil swallowed again and turned to his team. “Alright -” 

Renee cut him off, “Neil - we, you didn’t tell us - your mom…” She trailed off, unwilling to accept what Neil had practically just confirmed. 

Neil smiled shakily. “Don’t worry about it -” 

Matt cut in this time, “For fuck’s sake, Neil. Don’t act like this is ok. We know your dad was…your dad.” Matt shook off the wave of rage at the thought of Nathan hurting Neil as a kid, “- but your mom -” he broke off, “ -  _Jesus - “_

Neil smiled again, but even he could feel how broken it was. 

“I’m fine.”

* * *

_“You don’t know what it’s like to be afraid of your own mom!”_


	5. Chapter 5

“Coffee stunts growth.” 

“Your existence stunts my life expectancy.” 

“You smoke!” 

“You suck.” 

Neil was smiling. Kevin huffed and turned away from Andrew. Fighting with Andrew was like talking to a 5 year old. Logic never worked. 

“Can I drink the coffee, Kevin?” 

“Eat an apple, Neil.”

“I did,” he whined, “but I’m still so sleepy.” He was pouting. 

“Caffeine isn’t good for you. Especially in the long run. It affects your stamina and concentration and yes it does, in fact, stunt your growth -” 

“Matt!” Andrew yelled out their open door. Kevin turned to him, his brow scrunched. 

“What, do you need Boyd’s opinion on the matter?” 

“Fuck off, Day.” 

“You called?” Matt said from their doorway.

“Do you drink coffee?” 

Matt looked taken aback by the inquiry, maybe more so the fact that it was coming from Andrew than anything, “Uh…N- uh, more of a tea person, actually.” 

“What the fuck is tea.” Andrew’s countenance gave away how frustrated he was. He thought for a moment, then turned on Kevin, “Nicky drinks coffee.”

“Nicky,” Kevin countered, “-drinks sugar with a little bit of coffee in it. Which is equally-” 

“For fuck’s sake -” Andrew turned to Neil, “Drink the damn coffee and fuck what he says.” Andrew grabbed his pack and made his way towards the door, “Roof.” He threw over his shoulder, directed towards Neil.

“It’s not good for you!”

“You’re not fucking good for you!” 

_…a 5 year old._

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon asked: Neil falls asleep on a couch and one of the foxes just up and decides that they will pull a blanket over him to keep hi warm..

 Neil’s life was a mess.

He had 4 midterms to study for. Exy practice was killer because Dan insisted that they needed the practice for Championships, and if Dan was bad, then Kevin was even worse. He’d been getting no sleep in between working out, studying, running, actually going to class, practice, homework, and night practice - Neil’s life was, indeed, a mess. 

He’d gotten back from a run, and had an essay to work on right after, and night practice right after that. But as he sat on the couch, taking his shoes off, the pull of sleep was too strong. He adjusted the throw pillow before settling in, _15 minutes_ , he promised himself. _15 minutes, not a second longer than 15_ \- he was out cold. 

It was 2 hours later that Kevin came into their room looking for Neil, he was late to practice and wasn’t answering his phone. Andrew had shown up without Neil because he was coming straight after an appointment with Bee. 

So Kevin made the trek back to Fox Hall. looking for Neil. He walked into their room to see Neil snoring on their couch, his phone on the kitchen counter. 

An ounce of annoyance crossed Kevin’s face. He marched his way towards Neil, ready to shake him awake.

He stopped short. Neil still had one sneaker on, his backpack was a spilled mess on their coffee table. There were papers on the couch, now crushed underneath Neil. 

Kevin furrowed his brow, then sighed. 

He went into Neil’s room and brought back Neil’s blanket. He draped it over Neil and went to the kitchen. 

He picked up Neil’s phone, flipped it open, and set an alarm to wake him up in time for class tomorrow morning. 


	7. Chapter 7

It was late, maybe sometime after 1am that there was pounding on Neil’s suite’s door. 

Andrew, being the lightest sleeper, was the first to wake. He sat up, glaring at nothing i particular. Neil heard Kevin turning on the kitchen lights outside their door. 

Neil got up and opened their door to watch as Kevin slowly approached their door. Nicky was standing in the doorjamb of his and Kevin’s room, his hair ruffled and eyes squinting against the light. 

The pounding continued, Kevin cast a wary look to Neil, before bracing himself and opening the door. 

It was the lacrosse team’s captain - Jonathan, Neil thought. He looked angry. 

Kevin opened the door further to see the more athletes also up and in the hallway, most crowding their room. 

Neil walked up behind Kevin. 

It didn’t take more than that for Jonathan to seize Neil’s shirt front and drag him outside the room, and back him up against the wall next to the door. 

Neil was taken aback, what the fuck was going on? 

“We did this for you last year, “ He punctuated his words by slamming Neil against the wall again, “-we are not, going to do it again.” 

Jonathan fell like a pile of bricks, Andrew’s kick to his groin gone unnoticed. He scanned the crowd, searching. Almost waiting for someone to give him reason to hurt them. 

“What the hell’s going on?” Dan’s voice cut through the silence in the hall full of athletes. The rest of the upperclassmen and Aaron behind her. Kevin didn’t leave their room. 

“I asked you a question.” Dan repeated herself. 

Kyle, a football player spoke up, “They broke into the locker rooms. All the equipment is gone or broken.” The _because of him,_ went unsaid, but it was clearer than if he had.  

Nikki, a soccer player added, “Everything except the Exy equipment.” 

Kevin didn’t look too good, his face pale. Dan’s eye twitched with an oncoming headache. She sighed and turned to Renee. “Call Coach?” 

Matt made his way to Andrew’s side, in front of Neil. Allison joined him. Nicky and Aaron stayed near Kevin. 

“We’ll,“ Dan swallowed, “We’ll get it sorted out. You’ll get your equipment back.” 

“It’s not about the equipment,” Natalie, the hockey team captain, close friends with Dan, said in a low, steady voice.

“I -” Dan faltered. Renee spoke up for her. 

“We’re so sorry for any inconvenience that this may have caused. We’ll try our utmost to ensure that it won’t happen again. You have my word.” 

Nobody argued with Renee’s words. They all trusted her the most out of any Fox. If she said that they were sorry, they were sorry. If they had her word that this wasn’t going to happen again, it probably wouldn’t. 

But until then, they’d just have to trust her. 


	8. Chapter 8

Omg ok so like a month ago I read a post that basically asked "what if Proust filmed everything he did to Andrew and then it somehow got out?" I'm in the mood for angst and tbh you're the angst queen so what are your thoughts on that?

* * *

i didn’t want to get explicit, but it might be potentially triggering for some, please heed that before proceeding 

scratch that TW for inexplicit rape/non-con, abuse, self-harm mention, scars, panic attack 

* * *

It was hot. 

There was an almost fire-like heat making its way up Andrew’s spine. He could feel his face flushing, he was tempted to throw his shirt off for a second. He couldn’t breathe. The room, the locker room, was going in and out of focus. He could feel Neil near him, but he couldn’t see him. He could feel Neil moving, maybe saying something, but he couldn’t hear him. 

Dan’s phone, that Andrew had snatched from her, was still in his hand. The screen had timed-out, dark and silent. 

He could hear his breathing, harsh, even to him, echoing. He tried closing his mouth to quiet himself, but he was hyperventilating. 

Neil must have tried to make the upperclassmen leave, but it was a futile attempt because Nicky had barged in with Aaron and Kevin a second later. 

He’d seen the phones out, but hadn’t realized the tension in the room. “Are we watching favorite vines, ‘cuz mine’s everything by Thomas Sanders ever, hands down.” 

Nicky came up behind Matt, who still had his phone. Matt was staring at his screen, the video had stopped playing, it was paused on a blurry shot with a replay button right over it. His face was ashen, he couldn’t look away, couldn’t move. 

“Is that an email?” Nicky asked in confusion. “From - the NCAA?”

Kevin’s interest piqued, he came up behind Matt’s other side. When Matt didn’t move, Kevin pressed the replay button. 

It started off with the camera not steady, it was moving to and fro, blurry so nothing stood out. 

And then it focused on a pale wrist - handcuffed to a metal rail, a hospital bed. The camera zoomed in on the wrist and then up the forearm. Scars upon scars, some small and clean, others big and jagged, all healed over, but no less haunting, 

The camera zoomed out and they saw a blue hospital gown first, then blond hair, hollow, empty eyes, and Nicky gasped. 

The camera traveled down his face to his torso and it became apparent that the video was not being taken off the bed, but rather, from on top of Andrew. 

Kevin made a strangled noise before backing away. 

The video continued on, the person filming was straddling Andrew. Andrew had an impassive expression, but _anyone_ could see the pleading look in his eyes.

The man - it became apparent as he started talking - was narrating. 

He scoffed a laugh, then whispered, “ _Sleep well, Andrew_?” 

Andrew didn’t respond. But his eyes narrowed infinitesimally, 

“ _No, I don’t suppose I let you, did I?_ ”  

Matt had his eyes closed, still unmoving. 

“ _Come on, A.J._ ” 

Anger flashed across Andrew’s eyes for a split second. But it was gone, smothered another second later. 

“ _There he is_.” The man whispered.

Neil’s skin crawled. He was going to be sick. 

There was a rustling from the phone, the man was moving. 

Neil was staring at the wall. The room was still, silent. Then from the phone - Andrew’s breath hitched.

Aaron moved and snatched Matt’s phone from his hand and threw it across the room. 

Apparently he’d either managed to close the phone or it had cracked with the force, no sound was coming from it now. 

The silence was broken by Andrew’s hitched breaths. 

Aaron clenched his jaw so hard, Neil heard his teeth grinding under the pressure. He had a thunderous expression on his face, Neil hadn’t seen him so angry since his trial, when Andrew was retelling his side of the story. 

Nicky had been staring uncomprehendingly when it had started, as it progressed his face had crumpled, his vision blurry with tears, and the room washed in red as he realized what was happening. 

Neil could feel the onset of his own panic attack, but knew Andrew needed him more than any “ _all my fault_ ”s running through his head. 

Neil bit his lip hard enough to ground himself. He didn’t know what to do. He looked around the room but no one would meet his eyes, until Allison locked eyes with him. 

She was calm and collected, unlike anyone else in the room. She nodded slightly at Neil and then turned to Renee. 

Renee had tear tracks down her face. Allison took her hand and led her out of the locker room.

Dan grasped her own phone, still in Andrew’s hand, he didn’t resist as she slipped it out from his loose hold on it. She grabbed Matt’s arm and towed him out behind her a second later. 

Nicky was crying. His face crumpled as the tears fell. He hid his face in his hands for a second before rushing to the bathroom. 

The blood had drained from Kevin’s face. He met Neil’s eyes and then backed up and out of the locker room after confirming with Neil that he wasn’t needed. 

Aaron stood in front of Andrew. Neil’s jaw was starting to hurt just by seeing how hard Aaron had his clenched. “Why didn’t - I’m gonna -” 

“Aaron.” Neil spoke softly, Aaron glared at him, but Neil just shook his head at him, gesturing to Andrew’s state. 

Aaron winced. He sighed, his fist clenching and unclenching. “He needs you.” 

“I know.” 

Aaron sighed again. Nicky came back and they left. 

Neil walked to Andrew as noisily as he could, “Andrew?” 

Andrew didn’t acknowledge him. He swallowed a few times and then managed to rush to the nearest trash can and emptied his stomach. 

Neil could do nothing but watch. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Anonymous** asked:

andreil "please come with me" ...if you want!

* * *

Andrew’s eyes opened as the bed shook. He had learned to be a light sleeper at a young age. Sleeping next to Neil wasn’t usually a problem. He slept like a rock, unmoving and steady all through the night. 

But that wasn’t always the case. The nightmares had been getting worse. Neil would wake up gasping, sometimes with a yell. More than once Andrew had woken to Neil sitting up in bed, refusing to fall back asleep - his eyes glossed over, far away. 

Usually they would come and go. Neil would live with them for a while and then then they would stop. Usually after a couple nights they’d get better. It was  cycle and he’d learned to live with it. 

This time they wouldn’t stop. 

Neil was getting less and less sleep. That, in turn, meant Andrew was getting less sleep. They both had dark circles by the end of the first full week of this. They both were nursing coffees instead of water at morning practice. They both had fallen asleep in a class or skipped a class entirely to sleep in. 

It was getting out of hand. 

“Neil, put some fucking work into it!” Kevin yelled during Friday morning practice, fed up with his poor performance. 

Andrew walked off the field a minute later, Neil could tell from where he was that Andrew had been swaying unsteadily, nodding off while standing at the goal. Wymack let Andrew go, also having noticed his state. Neil was tempted to follow his boyfriend, but toughed it out for Exy. 

It was in the locker room afterwards that Andrew stood purposefully in front of Neil as he was towel drying his hair by his locker. 

Neil looked over, “Hey,” His voice was gravelly from sleep deprivation. 

“You need help.” 

Neil snorted, “With what? Sleeping?” 

“They’re getting worse.” 

“I can handle -”

“It’s not about handling.” 

“What do you even care!?” 

Andrew was silent, the locker room was empty, but Neil’s words had echoed. “Neither of us are getting any sleep.” 

“I’ll sleep on the couch if it’s that much of a problem.” Neil muttered bitterly 

“That’s not the point, dumbass.” Andrew hissed back.

“What do you want from me, Andrew? I’m not gonna go see Bee.” 

“She can help.” Andrew was getting angry, but Neil was already angry enough for the both of them. He kept himself in check. 

“No.” 

“Neil -” Andrew broke off, he knew the significance of a ‘No.’ but - “Please.” 

Neil’s heart dropped, “Andrew….”

“We’ll go together, you don’t have to do this alone.” 

Neil was silent, his head was throbbing with a headache. 

“Please come with me.” Andrew’s tone was final, but Neil knew it was a question more than a request. Andrew would respect a refusal if Neil gave him one. 

But Neil wasn’t sure what he was fighting against anymore anyway. 

“You’ll be there?”

“Only if you want me.” 

Neil gave him a lopsided smile, “I’ll always want you.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes and shoved Neil, “300%, junkie.” 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

**Anonymous** asked:

 

Ok I love you and I need a bit of angst, so: Andrew being unable to ground Neil from a really bad panic attack, and him just watching Neil descend into a very dark place.. Thank you! 

* * *

 

It started out slow. 

That should have been Andrew’s first clue. 

They were usually triggered by something or someone, but Andrew couldn’t figure out what was causing this one. They came and went, Andrew murmuring words of assurance, at the worst, placing his hand on Neil’s neck until he calmed. 

No one else was near them.

That should have been his second clue.

“Neil?”

—

They were watching TV when Neil got up. Andrew didn’t pay any mind, he probably had to use the bathroom, or get water. Nothing was wrong. Andrew didn’t have reason to think anything was wrong. 

It wasn’t until Neil had been gone for more than 2 commercial breaks that Andrew called out to him. 

He didn’t hear a response, but figured that Neil just couldn’t hear him. 

King made his way out of their room. He stood in the doorway until Andrew looked at him. King sat and stared right at Andrew. 

It wasn’t uncommon but something about it made Andrew’s brow furrow. He got up and made his way into their room. 

Neil wasn’t in their room, but Andrew noticed their bathroom light on, but the door ajar. He knocked once as he opened the door further. 

Neil was standing in front of the sink, his hands gripping the counter. His breath was coming in slowed, as if he were having trouble getting enough air into his lungs. His eyes were unfocused, far away. 

—

“ _Neil?_ ” 

Neil made no motion to suggest that he’d heard Andrew or even knew Andrew had come in. 

“Neil. You’re safe.” 

Neil’s breath was coming in shallower. 

“Abram.” Andrew raised his voice. Neil could usually communicate with him when he got like this. 

That was Andrew’s first clue. 

Neil flinched violently as Andrew brought his hand up to place it on Neil’s neck. Andrew ignored it in favor of grounding Neil. 

That was his first mistake. 

Neil’s eyes hardened, his shoulders tensed. He turned swiftly. He brought up a hand and twisted Andrew’s arm back painfully. 

That was Andrew’s second, what should have been his fourth, and final clue. 

There was no talking Neil out of this one. 

Andrew took a slow breath, he wasn’t going to hurt Neil. 

Judging by the iron grip on his wrist, Neil didn’t seem to have the same reservation. 

“What do you want?” Nathaniel growled. 

Andrew shook his head, “This isn’t you.” 

Nathaniel shook him, Andrew’s arm protested, if he pulled any harder, the shoulder would dislocate. 

“Abram.” 

“Neil isn’t here.” 

The hair at the back of Andrew’s neck stood on end. His breath sped up, “Neil.” 

“It’s Nathaniel.” 

“Neil.” 

Nathaniel let him go, pushing him away. Andrew stumbled, caught himself on the corner of the sink. He turned back to see Nathaniel looking at him in disgust. “He’s not Neil.” 

Andrew’s ears rung. It was silent as they both stared at one another, waiting for the other to make the next move. 

“…Neil. Abram. Josten.” 

Nathaniel’s eyes narrowed. His jaw clenched. 

“You are Neil Abram Josten.” 

Nathaniel’s hands balled to fists. Clenching and unclenching. 

“Nathaniel Wesninski died with his father. “ 

Nathaniel’s breathing started coming in labored again, the same way it had been when Andrew had first walked in, 

“Nathaniel Wesninski is dead. Leave him buried.” 

Neil slid to the ground, his back to the doorjamb. He whimpered, his form shaking. 

A chill shook Andrew’s frame for a second, he wasn’t going to let Neil know ho much that had affected him. He took a breath and walked towards his Neil. 

He knelt, Neil’s breathing accelerated. 

Andrew stepped back. He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t felt this helpless in a long time. 

He hated it. 

He took a shaky breath of his own. The cats were in their room, watching the scene unfold, not interrupting. 

Andrew took another step back until his legs hit the tub. He sat gently, worrying a lip between his teeth. There was no talking Neil out of this one. They just had to ride this one out. But that didn’t mean Andrew wouldn’t be there for Neil,

But that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

 

* * *

  **Anonymous** asked:

 

 

 

Can you please write a resolution to the one where Andrew can't help Neil out of his panic attack? I really need it

* * *

A resolution…to the…unresolvable…

you drive a hard bargain dear, I’ll take it 

* * *

Andrew sat on the tub for an hour before shifting to the ground where he waited another 2 hours. 

He had started tapping on the tile 20 minutes ago. He had noticed that Neil’s breathing had slowed when he’d done so, and hadn’t stopped since. 

Neil’s vision came back first, the darkness faded until he saw color again. His hands came into focus, he stared at them in wonder, as his hearing returned. The ringing ceased and he heard a tapping, but chose to ignore it. 

He stretched his legs out from where he’d had his knees drawn to his chest. His thighs burned and his back was protesting his cramped position. How long had he been sitting like that for it to hurt so bad? 

He took a deep, shuddering breath. He straightened his back and stretched, King came by and brushed against his side. 

Neil’s heartbeat throbbed in his ears, but that too subsided until he was left to figure out where the tapping was coming from. He turned his head to see Andrew sitting on the ground, his back to the tub. He looked bored, tapping away steadily against the tile by his side. 

Neil cocked his head to the side, wondering why Andrew was sitting in their bathroom, and why he was on the ground too. 

“Hey.” 

Andrew didn’t respond, but he wasn’t ignoring Neil, more like…waiting to see what would happen. 

Neil cleared his throat noisily, he hummed, “What’re we doing?” 

Andrew’s brow furrowed the slightest bit, then he stopped tapping. 

Neil stopped breathing. It felt like his heart had stopped beating. He gasped for air, then all of a sudden stopped, his breath slowed, his hearing picking up the steady tapping again. 

“Wha- What’s going on?” He gasped at Andrew. 

“You had a panic attack.” 

It was silent as Neil breathed. Outside a car honked once, prolonged, the farther it got, the quieter it became. 

“Ok…that happens, what - tapping?” 

“You weren’t responding.” Andrew looked at his own lap as he said this, not meeting Neil’s eyes. “I tried to help, but it didn’t work. So I had to, wait it out.” 

Neil’s brows raised in question, he didn’t say anything, but Andrew rolled his eyes anyway. 

Andrew hadn’t stopped tapping, he looked down at his hand, then to Neil. Neil nodded. Andrew tapped a few more times steadily, then slower, fading out. Neil’s chest tightened, but he was prepared this time. The tapping stopped, and Neil breathed in deeply. His breath hitched, but he was fine. 

“What happened?” Neil asked verbally, this time. 

Andrew stared at Neil, he didn’t think Neil would want to know. 

“Andrew.” 

Andrew let out a silent breath, “You…had me pinned, but I wasn’t gonna hurt you. You didn’t know what you were doing. It’s ok.” 

Neil looked devastated, his brow was scrunched in worry, “I hurt you?” 

“No dumbass, I’m fine.” 

“Andrew, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean - I would never - “

“It wasn’t you.” 

“Andrew - It doesn’t -” 

“It was him.”

Neil’s gasped for breath for a second time. 

He didn’t have to think long about what Andrew meant. 

_He_ was always at the back of his mind. 

_He_ was the reason Neil wasn’t sure about anything. 

And _He_  was why, when Andrew offered Neil a hand up, Neil could only stare unseeingly, unfocused, until Andrew moved out of his way. 

He needed to do something about _him_. 

 

* * *

asked: Um EXCUSE ME? "Resolution"???? Pls cont. if you can!

* * *

 

[Part 1 ](https://hatehateslove.tumblr.com/post/152253921246/ok-i-love-you-and-i-need-a-bit-of-angst-so)| [Part 2 ](https://hatehateslove.tumblr.com/post/152322768016/can-you-please-write-a-resolution-to-the-one-where)

…and here’s part 3 you thirsty motherfuckers 

* * *

“I don’t…remember.” 

Andrew looked at him worriedly, or as worriedly as Andrew could look. “Nothing?” 

Neil thought about it again, “We were watching Harry Potter and then…I woke…I came to? On the floor of the bathroom? That’s all I remember.” 

Andrew didn’t say anything for a moment. He looked lost in thought, Neil wasn’t sure what he was thinking. He didn’t know what to think himself. 

He’d been on the couch one second and then darkness and then the bathroom. _What did that mean?_

“You need to talk to someone.” 

Neil took a second to stop sorting his muddled thoughts and processed what Andrew had said. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.” 

“And what makes you think -” 

“Neil. This isn’t a fucking game. Take it seriously. I think,” Andrew’s words rushed, “ -something could be really wrong and I don’t think there’s any way I can help you in the long run.”

“Andrew what the fuck?” 

“I mean it.” 

“So do I.” 

“You don’t - You don’t remember anything.” 

“So? I was probably tired. I -” 

“Don’t.” 

 “-’m fine.” 

“No you’re not.” 

“Andrew!?” 

Andrew grit his teeth. “He. _He_ said ‘he’s not Neil’ when I called you Neil.” 

Neil paused, confused, “What?” 

Andrew breathed in, “N-Nathaniel said ‘He’s not Neil.’ when I called you Neil.” 

Neil scrunched his eyebrows, he didn’t say anything. 

“Listen - I haven’t been afraid,” Andrew hesitated on the word,” - much in my life, but…”

“You’re afraid of me?” 

“For you.” Andrew opened his mouth again, “Trauma like yours - it, it leaves destruction in its wake.” 

“Andrew, you never beat around the bush, just say what you’re trying to say.” 

Andrew looked into Neil’s eyes for a moment, “You need - professional help.” 

“…you think I’m crazy?” 

“You think I’m crazy?” Andrew shot back. 

“I - No, Andrew that’s not -” 

“Me either. I mean it though. Just…please.” 

Neil’s gaze fell. “Why - What do you think is wrong with me?” 

“I think you know Neil.” 

“I don’t -” 

“We won’t know until you _get help_.” 

This wasn’t the first time Andrew had suggested it. It probably wasn’t even the 20th. 

But it was the first time he was implying that there could seriously be something wrong with Neil. The first that he’d said please. The first that he had said he was afraid for Neil. And the first that Andrew had insisted so much. 

Neil breathed in - 

* * *

_Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder) : A disorder characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states._


	11. Chapter 11

"I can't do this" for andreil pls!

* * *

_I can’t do this._

Andrew’s nose burned. It was a foreign feeling. His nostrils flared at the sensation. HIs eyebrows scrunched in confusion as water? tears? filled his eyes. He blinked them away, not letting them fall. 

_I can’t do this._

Neil could only wait for a response. He wasn’t looking straight at Andrew. He didn’t think he could follow through if he saw Andrew’s face. He knew that as soon as he did, he would either take back his words or yell them louder than he’d ever want to talk to Andrew. 

_I can’t do this._

Andrew kept staring at Neil’s form, replaying his last words over and over again. His nose began stinging again. No amount of blinking was making his blurred vision any better. 

Neil took a breath, still waiting. He pursed his lips, his hand flexing. After another 30 seconds of nothing. He nodded to Andrew, or rather, towards Andrew. He didn’t say anything more, but straightened. 

_I can’t do this._

Andrew felt a single tear drop. It fell quickly, hot and wet, down his cheek and dripped off his chin. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself, but he couldn’t help himself. 

Andrew took a sharp breath in, Neil paused as he heard it. 

“There is no this.” 

It came out violent. Flung at Neil like a smack across his face. Andrew would never touch Neil. But Andrew never had to touch him to hurt Neil the way he just did 

He was always so violent. Everything he touched, destroyed. Why did he think a relationship would be any different? Why was he under the impression that Neil Josten would be any different? 

Neil didn’t respond, his face crumpled as he turned. 

He didn’t look back as he walked out. 

The door shut with a soft ‘ _click_ ’ as another tear fell. 

_I can’t do this._

* * *

Sad angst anon: I would never be opposed. Especially that "I can't do this" fic. Yeah, that one. That one killed me and I need more so I can die again because yes. Btw, I love you.

* * *

my anons are so cute y’all how am i supposed to say no to this (btw i love you more) 

(a SHORT _addition_ to [I can’t do this](https://hatehateslove.tumblr.com/post/151725022571/oooh-i-dont-know-if-this-is-a-thing-but-for-the)) (takes place BEFORE)

* * *

Neil made the trek up the stairs to the roof, his legs felt heavier the higher he got. They ended abruptly until he was standing in front of the black metal door. He stood, staring at the door, willing himself to _just do it._

He brought his hand to the metal bar and pushed, the door felt like it weighed a ton, as if there was something behind it, stopping Neil from opening it all the way. 

His chest felt tight and he hadn’t even seen Andrew yet. He took a deep breath and moved away from the doorway. he ignored how his breath stuttered at the end of the breath. 

He saw Andrew leaning against the ledge of the roof, his back to Neil. He hadn’t turned when the door opened or shut, not acknowledging Neil in any way. 

Neil pursed his lips forcefully, before running a hand down the bottom half of his face. He cleared his throat. He opened his mouth to call out Andrew’s name, it took him three tries before he could get it out. 

Andrew didn’t turn, just shifted, showing rather than telling Neil that he had his attention. 

“I’m, uh, I’m s-” Neil stopped short. _Was he sorry?_

He tried again “I don’t…think that, um, this is gonna work out.” 

Andrew didn’t move for a second and then turned his head to the side where Neil’s voice was coming from. 

Neither of them said anything. Neil waiting on Andrew. Andrew waiting for Neil. 

Neil took another deep breath, this time his breath stuttering earlier, almost like a hiccup. “I don’t think that w-we’re gonna work.” Neil bit the inside of his bottom lip, Andrew wouldn’t have liked him repeating himself. 

Andrew turned, but as soon as Neil saw the corner of Andrew’s eyebrows he looked away from his face. He couldn’t do this looking at Andrew’s eyes. He always knew what Andrew was feeling as soon as he saw his eyes. No matter how easily Andrew hid everything from everyone else, it was just as easy for Neil to understand him. 

Neil had never hated it before, but now…

Neil’s eyes locked on Andrew’s shoulder, covered in a black sweater. He was still waiting for a reaction, a response, anything. His eyes dropped to look at Andrew’s arm, down to the cigarette still burning in his hand, the ash dropping by Andrew’s shoes, forgotten. 

Andrew still hadn’t said anything.

Neil was _tired_. 

“I can’t do this.” 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could you do an "I need you" prompt for andreil?

 

Apparently angst night was a thing that happened? I was unaware, so be prepared to have your heart broken bc im just gonna fucking go for it.

Warnings? Angst. TW for suicide/suicidal thoughts/actions, mental illness, anxiety(?) *SPOILER* major character death

Told you I was just gonna fucking go for it…

Background: Neil and Andrew are on the same team, they’ve bought an apartment together, it’s been at the v least 10 years since TKM. It’s off-season, meaning no Exy, just practice.  

* * *

Neil had woken up to the smell of coffee brewing and cigarette smoke wafting in through the apartment. He turned and stretched, his arm brushing against King’s fur, the cat had been sitting on the warmth that Andrew’s body heat had left. Meaning he couldn’t have been up long. 

Neil got up and padded to their bathroom to pee and change. He walked out to see Andrew sitting at the kitchen table still smoking, Sir curled up by his ankles. 

“Morning.” Andrew just nodded back at Neil. Neil smiled softly and rolled his eyes. Neil took a sip of Andrew’s coffee and grabbed a water bottle from the counter. “Going for a run. See you.” He kissed Andrew’s temple and made his way out.

This had been their morning routine for the past year or so. Andrew would wake up and brew himself coffee and light a cigarette. Neil would wake after him and go on his 2 hour run, 1 hour when it wasn’t off-season. He always left with a “Going for a run. See you.” or a “Run. Bye.” or “Gonna run. Later.” alongside a kiss. 

It was routine. It was normal. It was supposed to be ok.

Neil was still a ten minute run away from home when he’d got the call. 

It was Andrew - normal. 

The type of call - not so much. 

Neil picked up, it was silent on the other end, a normal start to one of Andrew’s calls. 

“’Drew?” Neil had slowed to a fast walk, still panting from his run. 

The speaker crackled signaling Andrew exhaling. “I’m…” Andrew was lightly grinding his teeth, “I’m gonna do something dumb.”

Neil raised a brow, “Whaddoyou mean?” 

“Neil, I don’t - not…safe.” Neil slowed to a stop. 

“Andrew?” 

“Abram, you have to…” Neil’s heart was racing, not just because of the run. “Don’t let me -” 

“Andrew, don’t move. Don’t - don’t do anything. I’m coming.” 

“I’m sorry.” Andrew hung up.

Neil’s heart skipped a beat. 

He ran faster than he ever had - faster than when he was on the run or on a court.

But not fast enough.

* * *

“Andrew!” Neil yelled as soon as he got the apartment door open, he ran to their room, “Andrew!” No answer. The bathroom light was on, the door closed. Neil tried it, it was locked. 

“AndREW!” Neil pounded on the door, before remembering the lock-pick over the doorframe of their bedroom door. He ran back, grabbed it, and ran to the bathroom again. 

There was so much blood. 

Neil’s mouth trembled. He breathed through his mouth to keep from gagging. He was already dialing 911. 

_“911, what’s your emergency?”  
_

Neil had seen blood, that wasn’t what shook him. It was the sheer amount. Andrew lay unconscious, his face ashen, unresponsive. 

_“Andrew - Andrew, oh my god, Andrew” ˆ_

Neil had seen blood. Neil knew what blood loss meant. Neil knew how much blood a body could lose and still survive. 

_“Hello? What’s your emergency?”  
_

Neil had seen blood. Neil knew what blood loss meant. Neil knew how much blood a body could lose and not survive. 

_“Andrew, please. Andrew. No, Andrew.”  
_

Neil knew. 

_“I need you.”_

He hung up the phone. 


	13. Chapter 13

How about lethargy by bastille for andreil, but maybe with raven!neil as a twist? Only if you want to!

* * *

Raven!Neil as requested 

* * *

“Wesninski!” 

Nathaniel blinked, what was going on? 

“Fucking listen, will you?” 

Nathaniel glared at Riko, he didn’t have the patience to deal with this asshole today. 

“Fuck off.” Nathaniel made to leave, but before he knew it, he was pinned to the wall with Moriyama’s fist twisted in the front of his shirt. 

“Talk to me like that again. I dare you.” 

Nathaniel made to open his mouth, but his lips wouldn’t work. His mouth stayed shut, he glared defiantly for a moment, and then looked away from Riko’s glare. His shoulders sagged, the fight leaving him. 

Riko sneered, he snorted condescendingly, “Coward.” He used his fist to pull and then push Nathaniel back, knocking his head against the wall behind him. 

He let Nathaniel go, turning, “I won’t be so forgiving next time.” 

Nathaniel stayed there, his chest aching but eyes dry. 

They’d been dry for years now. He’d learned early on that they didn’t make a difference. 

They never did. 

* * *

After Kevin ran away to the Foxes, he and Jean took the brunt of the abuse. 

Jean still cried, no matter how hard he tried to hide the fact. 

Nathaniel didn’t know whether or not the tears made him or Jean the stronger of the two. 

* * *

It wasn’t until Renee got them both out and Kevin got Jean to Jeremy and Nathaniel to Wymack that he met Andrew. 

He knew about Minyard, from the news. From the time Kevin and Riko had gone to recruit him and he’d turned them down. The first ever. 

It wasn’t until he was playing alongside him that Nathaniel realized how alike they were. 

It was unsettling. 

Kevin and he had grown up together but Nathaniel had more in common with Minyard than any of the Perfect Court did. 

* * *

They were on the roof. 

Each with a cigarette between their fingers and a bottle of vodka exchanging hands. 

It was silent. 

But a conversation was happening. 

Nathaniel took a swig, his head thrown back. Y _ou actually think this could…work?_

Andrew took a drag. _There is no this._

Nathaniel nodded along to a silent beat. _Sure. But, what if?_

Andrew shook his head slightly, reaching for the bottle.  _Shut up, junkie._

Nathaniel took a drag, blowing out slowly. _I don’t believe you._

Andrew stood, taking the bottle with him. 

“ _I hate you.”_


	14. Chapter 14

Hihi! Andreil + Epithelial by Crywolf?

 

* * *

 

Neil holds his hand out, palm open. He doesn’t look expectant. As if he were waiting for Andrew to take his hand. 

He waits patiently, after a minute let his arm fall to his side, his palm still open. 

He stands like that for a few minutes, just staring out at the sky from where he stood on the rooftop. 

He feels more than hears Andrew shifting closer from behind him. Tentative fingers touch his palm, and then Andrew’s fingers slip through Neil’s. 

Fitting like a key.

* * *

Neil’s hands glide down Andrew’s sides. 

Andrew gasps, his head thrown back. 

His back arches off the bed as Neil continues to kiss down his torso, across his hips, down the inside of his thigh…

* * *

Andrew wakes with tears already streaming down his face, _No, no, no, please, God, no._

He chokes on the sobs he’s trying to hide. _Please…_

Neil wakes quietly, rolls out of bed and turns the lights on. He lets Andrew cry, he doesn’t say anything.

He climbs back into bed as soon as he knows Andrew’s back. The bed dips and Andrew flinches infinitesimally, more out of habit than out of fear. 

Neil sits against the headboard, still not saying anything. Patient. 

Andrew scoots back, he clutches Neil’s arm. He runs his hands over his skin, feeling his muscles, memorizing the feel, grounding himself. 

He takes a hiccupping, gasping breath, and lets his head fall onto Neil’s shoulder. 

Neil carefully brings his arm up to wrap around Andrew. 

* * *

Neil stares at Andrew, not asking anything.

Andrew blinks slowly, waiting. 

Neil shifts closer, going slow, giving Andrew time to stop him. 

Andrew’s eyes are half-lidded, he doesn’t stop Neil. 

Neil’s lips part the slightest bit, he comes closer, the gap between their lips getting smaller. 

Neil stops an inch from Andrew’s mouth, Andrew’s lips have parted at this point.

Neil looks up at Andrew, giving him another chance to stop him. Andrew raises a brow, patiently waiting. 

Neil places his lips against Andrew’s. 

Andrew doesn’t know why, but as soon as he does, the hair at the back of his neck stands on end. 

His eyes flutter shut. 

His chest feels tight. 

They’d kissed countless times before. 

Why did this feel different?

Was it different? 


	15. Chapter 15

kandreil prompt! (if you're interested) one day Kevin wakes up and can't seem to get the mental strength to get himself out of bed. A lot has happened and he just doesn't want to shoulder it today. (He can't.) He'd rather just go back to sleep. So Andrew and Neil come in to wake him up only to find he's already awake and hasn't moved. Everybody has their off days but this is Kevin and he never does this Neil and him were supposed to practice later today

* * *

All aboard the motherfucking angst train

* * *

Kevin’s alarm sounds. He reaches for his phone, the mattress still warm from where Neil had probably just gotten up. He debates for a second and then turns the alarm off, forgoing his morning run, He could always run later. 

He falls back asleep, but his school alarm wakes him an hour later. He has to be in class in 20. He can see the kitchen light on, Andrew and Neil’s shadows moving under the doorframe. 

He heaves a sigh and shuts the alarm off. There was an important game this Friday. He debates how important this class was, would he fail for having one unexcused absence? He couldn’t fail, he needed to keep his GPA up. He didn’t even have an exam today. What if he did, what if he couldn’t remember? He could ask Matt for the notes later…

Kevin was already dozing off before he’d made the decision to skip class. 

He woke 20 minutes later in a panic, he was going to be late for class. He rolled over, throwing his comforter off himself. But he couldn’t muster the energy to swing his legs out of bed. _Matt can send me his…_

_Wait._

Neil knocked on the door, “Kev! You’ve got class, quit fixing your hair, it looks fine! You’re gonna be late!” 

_Neil_ …

It was a minute later that Andrew opened the door, probably to grab his backpack or pack or both. He stood in the doorway, a brow raised. “Class canceled?” 

Kevin didn’t say anything. Andrew shrugged and grabbed his backpack off the ground. He swooped to kiss Kevin goodbye, just as Neil entered the room. 

“Kevin?” 

Kevin didn’t say anything, worrying his bottom lip. 

“S’wrong, babe?” 

Kevin ground his teeth lightly, not answering, His eyes pricked with tears he wasn’t sure what for. Andrew turned to look at Kevin closer, his shining eyes and closed lips. How he’s positioned to get up, but didn’t look like he had any plan of doing so any time soon. 

“What happened?” Andrew asks, concern barely hidden beneath his words. 

Kevin shakes his head, nothing had happened. 

“Class cancelled?” Andrew repeated his earlier question 

“No,” Neil cut in, “Matt already left.” then to Kevin, “Something wrong, Kevin?” 

Kevin worried his lip a second longer, then hesitantly shook his head again. Neil came in and sat on the bed, taking Kevin’s hand, “Hey, you can always talk to us.” 

Kevin’s face contorted as he tried to keep the tears from falling. He was unsuccessful. Neil and Andrew watched as Kevin broke down, both unsure of what was bothering their boyfriend. 

Neil pursed his lips, then glanced at Andrew. The situation unfamiliar - Kevin never cried, at least not sober. He’d never been one to miss a class or a morning run either. Whatever was wrong, it wasn’t insignificant. 

“What’s wrong, Kev?” Neil tried again. 

Kevin shook his head again, the tears stopped for now, he opened his mouth slightly and mumbled “’don’ know, “ his voice thick with tears. “I don’ know. Don’ know -”

_I don’t know…_


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (continuation of Ch 4.)

Anon: Ummm that was so good can we pls have more angst about Neil's mom?? Thank u <3

* * *

A continuation of [Mum Angst](https://hatehateslove.tumblr.com/post/149451432591/how-about-the-foxes-reaction-to-finding-out-about) bc of popular-ish demand 

Abuse TW

* * *

“The scars,” Neil swallowed “-you can see aren’t the only ones that exist…”

“Oh, hon -” Dan stepped forward, pulling Neil into a fierce hug, her eyes stinging, her fist clenching. If there was anyone that knew anything about the toll that mental/emotional abuse could take, it was Dan. 

Neil bit the inside of his cheek as she hugged him, standing still as he felt her breath accelerate. She pulled back and blinked away her tears. 

“Hey, I’m ok, Dan. Really, it was a long time ago. And she only wanted the best -” 

“-No.” Dan cut in, “No she didn’t, Neil. Abuse is abuse. Even if she didn’t touch you - oh..oh no.” She faltered as Neil tried to school his expression.

“I’m fine,” Neil whispered, his eyes downcast.

Matt was clenching his jaw as hard as he could to keep from saying anything, he knew Dan could handle this better than he could. 

Renee and Allison were also in the dorm room, but they both stayed politely back and respectfully silent. They both had faith in Dan as well.

Andrew wasn’t as easily swayed. “We’re leaving.” 

Neil knew Andrew probably had a lot to say but they hadn’t had a chance to talk in between practice and getting back to Fox Tower. Probably along the lines of Neil never mentioning anything about Mary being abusive, but that was a conversation for them. 

Dan looked between them. She seemed to decide that she could trust Andrew with Neil and backed off. 

“Are we, now?” 

“203.”

“She hated smartasses almost as much you.” Neil reminisced with a wry grin.

“Not funny.”

Neil paused, his smile slipping a fraction. He sighed, “…never said it was ‘Drew.” 


	17. Chapter 17

Neil fell like a pile of bricks.

His knees buckled under him as he was running towards the opposite team’s goal.

He’d taken a hit to the head that he’d insisted wasn’t a big deal. No matter what Wymack or Abby had said, he’d gone back in as soon as he broke free of Wymack’s grasp. 

As soon as he was down, at least 4 whistles blew. Neil tried to stand, but he couldn’t muster the will to roll over. His stomach was heaving, but he clamped his mouth shut and willed himself not to vomit. 

His ears stopped ringing enough for him to feel the presence of a medic over him. He turned Neil over, helped him sit up, and took his helmet off. He was talking but Neil didn’t hear any words. 

Then the room shifted. 

Somebody had picked him up bridal style, and was carrying him towards the stands. 

“You idiot.” 

“Mmh.” 

“You. Idiot.” 

“Mmm…” 

Andrew handed Neil over to Abby, “Don’t let him on.” 

Neil was blinking owlishly, his mouth still shut. He clamped a hand over his mouth and made to get up, but his legs failed him again. 

Andrew grit his teeth, shooting a look at Wymack. Coach nodded, then called a timeout. 

Andrew picked Neil back up, carrying him out of the stadium and to the nearest trash can. Neil threw up until he was dry heaving. Abby came by with water. The timeout was almost over. Andrew had to get back in. 

Neil was refusing the water, insisting that it was just something he ate. 

Andrew pivoted to face Neil. “Shut up.” 

Neil looked about ready to argue, but before he could get a word out edgewise, Andrew cut in, “Neil.” 

They glared at each other for a few seconds, Neil’s resolve wavered. 

“Don’t you dare come back in.” It was said forcefully, but Neil heard the plea underlying the demand. 

Neil broke eye contact. 

Andrew nodded at Abby. 

He kissed the top of Neil’s head before clasping his helmet back on and running back out onto the field. 


	18. Chapter 18

“Neil?”

Neil looked up from his laptop at Nicky’s voice, “What’s up?” 

Nicky was looking down at his phone, “I was…uh, well. You said you don’t swing.” 

Neil took a second to compose himself, of all the things Nicky could ask him about, this was not what he was expecting.

“Nicky, I meant what I said. I don’t - “

“No, I - I mean, yeah. I get it. You’re not lying. So you don’t identify as gay or bisexual, but. Well, I was looking into it, and well,” Nicky blew a breath out through closed lips unsure how to proceed, “Here.” He said as he turned his phone to Neil.

Neil saw a block of text uncomprehendingly at first, then focused on the bolded word “ _Demisexual_.” Neil furrowed his brow, unfamiliar with the term,  _an individual who does not experience sexual attraction unless they have formed a strong emotional connection with another individual._

Neil read the definition 2 more times. 

His brow relaxed and then furrowed again, He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He tried again, “I -” he swallowed, not sure.

“Hey, it’s ok.” Nicky reassured him softly. He clenched and then unclenched his fist before placing his hand on Neil’s shoulder. Grounding Neil. 

Neil still wasn’t saying anything, “I’m -” He didn’t know what he was trying to say, his mind moving faster than his mouth could keep up. 

“Neil.” Nicky started. 

“No…I mean, I’m not sure…I don’t want..”

“Neil.” Nicky said more forcefully. “You don’t have to know. This isn’t a yes or no question. Unlike the kind you and Andrew are so fond of.” He grinned. “You’re ok.” 

No, this didn’t mean Neil knew what he felt for Andrew had a label. No, it didn’t mean Neil wanted to have a label. No, it didn’t mean Neil didn’t want to have a label. And no - it didn’t mean Neil knew that he identified as demisexual.

But it was a start. 


	19. Chapter 19

asked: Hello I'm *! How about Raging by Kygo for Andreil? I can't wait to see what you come up with, I absolutely love your writing and it always makes me smile when I see something new from you come up on my dash

 

* * *

Hello *! You’re are too kind, you honestly just made everything worth it, so thank you. ❤️

* * *

 

The door slammed shut behind Andrew. Neil was pulling him farther into the room, his hands undoing the button on Andrew’s pants. 

_Neil smiled wide Aaron’s name was called at graduation. When Andrew’s was called, he cheered with the rest of the Foxes. His nose burning, he swallowed as his smile slipped, and excused himself to go find a bathroom._

Andrew’s hands tugged at the collar of Neil’s shirt. The first 2 buttons popped open, he moved his hands down to the hem of the shirt, tugging up and over Neil’s head. 

_“I’m -” Neil deliberated and then_ fuck it _, “I’m gonna miss you.”  
_

_Neil grabbed a hold of Andrew’s hands before Andrew could turn away from him. Andrew was worrying his bottom lip - airports never were his favorite._

_Andrew turned to look at Neil’s face, he opened his mouth to say something, then reconsidered, finally, “Thank you.”_

_Neil couldn’t tell you what Andrew’s words meant, he didn’t know if they meant the same thing each time he thought of it, but at the time, it had been enough._

_Neil stepped forward, Andrew braced himself, then relaxed as Neil’s arms came up around him. Neil hugged him for only a moment. He let go and Andrew turned, leaving North Carolina to play with the Chicago team that had signed him right out of college._

Andrew moaned as Neil latched onto his collarbone, pulling and biting and kneading with his lips the same way he used to. 

Neil used his hands to unbutton Andrew’s shirt all the way down, Andrew shrugged it off as Neil’s hands came up to scratch at his sides. 

_“Hey.”  
_

_“Hi.”  
_

_Neil smiled to himself, he’d missed Andrew’s voice. “How’re you?”_

_“Ok.”  
_

_“How’s Chicago?”  
_

_“Fine.”  
_

_Neil bit his lip, his eyes stinging, what was he doing wrong?_

_Maybe Andrew was just tired, he reasoned. “Hm, well, I’ll leave you to it. Call me whenever, yeah?”_

_Andrew didn’t say anything. Neil bit his tongue. “Uh, right, I’ll talk to you later.”_

_But right before he could hang up, “Neil.”_

_“…Yeah.”  
_

_“…I miss you.”  
_

_A tear slipped._

Neil gasped as Andrew brought his arms around the back of his thighs and lifted. Neil brought his hands up to cup Andrew’s face, kissing him harder, then carded his fingers through Andrew’s hair.

Andrew carried Neil farther into the room. He set him down on the bed, still on top of him. He kissed his way down Neil’s neck to his chest. 

Neil’s gasping breaths filled the room, Andrew’s name the only thing discernable amongst them. 

_Andrew woke with a pained gasp. The shadows of unwanted touch lingering after his nightmare. He let out a half-sob as he struggled to breathe. His chest heaved as he tried to calm down. He reached to his side table blindly, his fingers pressing Neil’s name in the dark._

_Neil answered with a yawn, “’Lo?”_

_Andrew didn’t anything, but his breath was still labored enough for Neil to know something was wrong. “’Drew?”_

_Andrew gasped again, “Please…”_

_“Hey,” he started “You’re ok. It’s just me.”_

_“N-Neil?”  
_

_“You’re safe ‘Drew. No one’s gonna hurt you.”  
_

_“Neil.” Andrew’s breathing slowed, still hiccupping softly.  
_

_“I love you.”_


	20. Chapter 20

 

 

asked:Hiii, I'm *! Talk me down by Troye Sivan for andreil :D p.s. I love your writing xx

* * *

Hello *! That’s v sweet, thank! 

Let’s fucking start with an angst fest, shall we?

 

 

* * *

_Andrew ever so carefully ran his fingers through Neil’s hair. He was asleep, looking peaceful and carefree. Andrew sighed quietly, his hand falling back down to his side_. 

_“I -,” Andrew’s voice caught, he couldn’t, “ - I hate you.” he whispered to Neil’s unconscious form.  
_

—

“You should - I - you should go.”

—

_They weren’t in their room, they weren’t in their apartment, they weren’t on a roof.  
_

_Neil had come up behind Andrew at Renee’s. He’d wrapped his arms around Andrew and whispered the words as Renee’s kids ran around their legs, screaming in delight as kids do._

_“I’m home.”_

—

Andrew narrowed his eyes at Neil, “You kicking me out, asshole?”

—

_Andrew sat up with a gasp, his hands were searching blindly next to him. Neil woke slowly, blinking the sleep from his eyes._

_“Hey, I’m right here. Right here, babe. Not going anywhere.” Neil whispered reassurances until Andrew’s breathing slowed.  
_

_“Right here.”_

—

Neil didn’t reply and Andrew didn’t say anything else as the door closed behind him.


	21. Chapter 21

Andreil + Troye Sivan's "For him"? :) Oh, and my name's * btw ;)

* * *

Lol I love how Troye’s everybody’s go-to for Andreil 

Hello *! I hope you like! 

* * *

“Did you get the Nestle?” 

Neil opened his mouth to answer, then reconsidered, “Nestle? You like Swiss Miss.” 

Andrew leveled a stare at him, _how the fuck does he know that_ , “Same difference, doofus.” 

“Well, I got the Swiss Miss.” 

_Thank you. “_ Good _.”_

—

Neil was panicking. 

He had a game in 5 minutes and he couldn’t…find his bandana. 

He’d scoured the locker rooms, asked his coach if he had extras, and had asked the whole team if they’d seen it. 

“Here.” Andrew through a bandana at Neil, his breath was coming in labored, but it looked like he was trying to hide the fact. 

“This isn’t mine?” Neil asked in confusion, then - “Wait, what are you doing here?” Andrew didn’t have a game, he did. 

_It’s mine_. “Take the damn bandana, junkie.” 

Neil furrowed his brow, then his lips screwed up in a half smile, “Thanks, love.” 

Neil interrupted Andrew’s eye-roll with a quick kiss, before running out of the locker room. 

Andrew took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, _Good luck…love._  

—

“Andrew?” 

“What?” 

“Uh…how do you change a flat?” 

Silence, and then, “ - tire?” 

“…yes?” 

Static as Andrew exhaled into his cellphone. “Where are you?” 

“Right after exit 27 on 85?”

Neil could _hear_ the eyeroll through the phone. 

“Don’t do anything stupid. I’m coming.” 

“You don’t have to. Just talk me through - 

“I’m coming.” 

Neil couldn’t help the smile, couldn’t stop even if he tried. “Alright, thanks.” 

“Stop smiling, you loser.” Andrew hung up before Neil could say anything more.

Neil was grinning now


	22. Chapter 22

asked: I'm *! Ivy by Frank Ocean, Andreil. Thank you so much for doing this!! I love your writing so much and I just want to say that I appreciate u and seeing u on my dash makes me smile!

 

Hi *! You have a beautiful name! Also you just made me tear up a bit, that was v v sweet. Thank you so much! 

* * *

“Thank you.” 

Neil stared at Andrew. Then looked away, “For what?” he muttered, “Wasting your time on a basket case like me?” 

Andrew was shaking his head before Neil had finished, “For -,” he swallowed, “for putting up with me on sleepless nights, and taking late night drives when I couldn’t sleep. For buying the right hot chocolate, for knowing when my pack was running out. For - For loving me, when I’d given up on anyone ever loving me.” 

Neil had narrowed his eyes at this point. He scoffed humorlessly, “How fucked up is it that I don’t know whether you’re being sarcastic or not?”

Andrew clenched his jaw at that, he was being honest. But he didn’t want to fight anymore. He was done hurting Neil. 

“You were amazing.” 

Neil raised a brow, “That’s rich, coming from you.” 

“I don’t want to fight.” 

“I’m not fighting.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you.”

Andrew didn’t say anything more, just worried the inside of his lip, before heaving a sigh and turning. 

“Thank you.”

 “Just go.”


	23. Chapter 23

Hi I'm *! Um Neptune (Sleeping at Last) for andreil or kandreil? Thank you love ♡

* * *

Hi there *! 

So…I’d never listened to this, and…well I’m crying now. Thank you - sincerely. 

* * *

Neil had been on the run for as long as he could remember. 

The life he’d had before then was a faint blur, muddled by fake memories and memories he sorely wished were fake. 

He hadn’t grown up in a house of love. He didn’t grow up with nurturing parents. He didn’t know where affection ended and abuse began. All he knew for certain was that that he didn’t know how to love. 

Neil didn’t know what it meant to love someone. He didn’t know where the feeling of fierce protection came from when it was a team member involved. He didn’t know what it meant when his eyes stung and nose burned when he felt Andrew shuddering in bed, choked sobs escaping his pursed lips. 

Neil didn’t know why he was pulled towards the people he was pulled towards. It was inexplicable. He didn’t know how to explain it. He didn’t know if he could. 

All he knew was that if he lost these people - he didn’t know if he’d be able to live with himself. 

Neil grew up not knowing what lovewas. 

—

Andrew had never had a home. 

He moved from foster home to foster home ever since he was a day old. He didn’t know what a mother’s touch felt like. He didn’t know what it was like to come home to parents that loved him and a bed to sleep on every night. 

As a child, Andrew went to school and saw his classmates interact with their parents. No matter how many times he changed schools he knew what he wasn’t getting. He saw these children happy and carefree, so unaware that the world was full of such injustice. 

It was that injustice that came crashing down around Andrew. A young boy that had his innocence snatched from him. 

There was no doubt in his mind that if he wasn’t worthy of love before, he most certainly wasn’t anymore.

Andrew grew up believing love was a luxury not afforded to people like him. 

—

Kevin never knew love save the love for Exy. 

And even that love he didn’t know if he’d made up to cope with living in the Nest or not. He asked himself regularly if the love he felt for the game was the same love he read about in novels or the infatuation with a sport that took his mind off everything but getting the ball in the goal. 

Kevin had never truly known his own mother, his father was a mystery until recently. He didn’t know if what he felt for Wymack was love or not. Perhaps not yet. Perhaps one day. 

He grew up in a place that children went to lose any innocence they may have once had. He grew up in a place that taught the needs of the team over the needs of the self. He grew up in a place where love was synonymous with weak. 

Kevin grew up believing love was weakness. 

—

These three boys had never been taught what love truly meant. 

_Love was a privilege_ that they knew so many people had. 

But for some reason, fate had decided that they were unworthy of love.

But perhaps, fate had something better in mind. 


	24. Chapter 24

asked: Closer by the chainsmokers and halsey, andreil?

(i’ve had this song stuck in my head forever help me) 

(also fucjk i could write a book based off this song im sorry it got so long) 

* * *

Andrew never knew what team they were playing until they were already playing them. As soon as he saw the shock of blue eyes, so focused and determined on the ball, the roar of the stadium faded. 

—

_“Maybe…maybe this isn’t - what we need.”  
_

_“Yeah…I, I’m sorry -”  
_

_“No. Don’t be. This isn’t your fault.”  
_

_“It’s not yours either.”  
_

_“I -” he took a breath, “yeah. Um, I guess…I guess I’ll see you around.”_

That had been 4 years ago. 

Andrew had quit Exy, pursuing a job in criminal justice, becoming an officer. 

But it was never the same. He didn’t feel the satisfaction he’d thought he would have. It never got his adrenaline pumping the way that Exy used to..

He didn’t keep up with what was going on in the world of Exy. He didn’t know that Kevin had made Court a year ago. He didn’t know what team Neil was on. He didn’t know where Matt or Dan were. 

All he knew was that he had to go back. 

—

Andrew had been back for less than 6 months. 

But he’d had a name before and during exy. And as soon as he signed with this team, everyone knew. Major sports magazines all wanted to interviews and photoshoots but Andrew had refused.

He hadn’t run into any old teammates yet. 

He wasn’t counting on ever seeing them again. 

–

The roar of the stadium came crashing back as soon as his ears stopped ringing. 

He straightened and put his game face on. 

This was going to be interesting. 

—

Neil didn’t know who the other team’s goalie was. All he knew was that whoever they were, they were _good_. 

They blocked almost every shot he threw at them. His teammates weren’t faring much better. 

The score was 2 to 3 by halftime, neither side letting up.

Neil’s team ultimately lost 4 to 5, after playing a very close game. 

They retired to the locker rooms, getting out of their gear, showering, and changing. 

Andrew and Neil were both out for press coverage for their respective teams first. 

—

“How does it feel playing against a familiar face?”

“Uh, well ever since Williams was traded -” 

“No, not Williams. Andrew.” 

Neil looked confused, “Uh…Jensen isn’t on either team?” 

The reporter looked delighted, everyone pressed closer as they waited for Josten’s reaction to the news. 

“Andrew Minyard.” 

Neil’s mind was working overtime. Andrew. Minyard. “Oh, Of course, yeah. Andrew played as well as he did before.” The reporters looked disappointed, not impressed with his reaction. 

“Um, I’m glad he’s back.” He nodded at the reporter, signalling the end of his response and moving on to the next.

—

“How was it, playing Josten?”

“He never was much of a challenge.” 

— 

Neil worried his lip, flipping his phone around and around in his hands. How did he know if Andrew even had the same number as four years ago…

He didn’t. 

He hit send. 

—

It was a minute later that his phone vibrated on his console, he’d already forgotten he’d sent a text.

He felt his heart drop as “1 new message” flashed across his screen, with Andrew’s name over it. 

—

Andrew walked towards the sleek black car parked behind the stadium, He knocked once on the window, and heard the lock click open as Neil let him in. 

He slipped into the passenger side.

Neil took off as soon as his door closed. 

—

Andrew’s back thud against the wall of the hotel room. Neil had his hands his Andrew’s hair and his lips locked on Andrew’s. He searched for the lightswitch next to Andrew’s head for a moment then went back to the collar of Andrew’s shirt. 

_“…How’ve you been?”  
_

Neil let out a groan as Andrew shoved him forward, only to turn them around so that Neil was the one against the wall. He latched onto Neil’s neck, prompting another groan. 

“ _Fine_.” 

Neil broke away from a kiss with a gasp, his hair dishevelled and his lips swollen - Andrew moved to his ear, down his jaw. His own lips swollen, Neil’s facial hair scratching at his mouth.

“ _Right…How - What’ve you been up to?”_

_“Moved to Boston. Took up policing.”  
_

Neil pushed forward, wrapping his arms around Andrew. He stepped forward, prompting Andrew to step back. They did until Andrew’s legs hit the bed. Neil pushed until Andrew sat, then pushed farther until Andrew was horizontal. Neil over him. 

_“But you didn’t stay?”  
_

_“Evidently.”  
_

Neil made quick work of Andrew’s clothes, and then took off his own. Andrew turned them over, so he was straddling Neil’s thighs. He ran his hands down the familiar panes of his body, mapping out the same scars from before. His thumbs tracing the indents of his muscles like he used to. 

“ _Why?”  
_

Neil’s breathless moans filled the room. His chest heaved, his breaths gasping, “Fuck -” 

He turned them over again, practically completely covering Andrew. Andrew’s legs spread to accommodate Neil, his own breaths coming in short gasps. 

Neil took in a sharp breath. “’Drew-” 

“A-Abram.” 

_“You know why.”_


	25. Chapter 25

Andrew’s breath was coming out just a smidge shallow. Not noticeable but to himself. He was sitting on the ground. The carpet beneath him warm and soft and familiar. He was sitting propped up against the doorjamb of their walk-in closet. His phone was on the ground next to his right hand, just out of reach because he didn’t have the willpower to move his arm the 1 inch it took to reach it. It had vibrated a few times, probably texts. Maybe reminders. Perhaps a phone call. He’d lost track of time. It could have been an hour it could have been 4. He wasn’t sure. He’d spaced out for a while now, only coming to when he heard Neil greeting the cats and giving them the food Andrew was supposed to have given them..an hour? 2 hours? ago. 

He’s breathing slowed even more than before. He wasn’t sure if there was any panic interwoven in his exhalations, but at this point there was very little he was entirely sure of. 

Neil’s keys clattered on their dresser the way they did every day.

“Hey,” The way he said every day. 

He smiled at Andrew the way he did every day. 

His head tilted to the side when Andrew didn’t reply

Andrew didn’t know whether to be pissed or relieved that Neil didn’t ask why he was sitting on the ground. Why he hadn’t replied to any of his texts. Why he couldn’t seem to summon the strength to do much more than move his head.

“How are you?” There it was. Not a ‘How was your day?’ like every day but a ‘How are you?’ instead. 

Andrew swallowed, his throat parched with disuse. He inhaled slowly through his mouth and exhaled even slower. His nose stung with unshed tears. He wasn’t sure why he had tears to not shed in the first place. 

Andrew swallowed again, “Hey.” 

“Hey - hi. What’s up, Andrew?” 

“Can’t move.”

Neil’s eyebrow twitched, not enough to qualify as a lift. His head tilted further in confusion. “Ok. Ok…Want me to help you up?” 

If there had been anything to throw up, Andrew would have emptied it right then. The thought of moving, so far as standing, were as close to unthinkable as they could get. 

“Ok, no. No, that’s fine.” Neil quickly retracted, seeing the nausea overcome Andrew’s features. He crouched a foot away from Andrew, careful to stay completely in Andrew’s field of vision. 

“Fuck off,” Andrew mutterred. Neil smiled wryly. _Stubborn jerk._

Neil reached forward slowly, Andrew followed his movements. He picked up the disregarded armbands by Andrew’s side and started folding them. He set the first one aside and started on the other, but his fingers caught near the middle of it. Neil straightened it out. 

It was torn. There were slashes, the fabric ripped to shreds along its length. Meticulous slices, each equidistant from each other. Each the same length. 

His brows scrunched infinitesimally, before his shoulders slumped in grief.

His eyes caught a flash of the blade glinting in Andrew’s left hand

Neil’s legs were numb, he slowly moved from his crouch to sitting criss-cross to the left front of Andrew. He exhaled, “Andrew -”

“Don’t. I fucking know.” 

“I’m not, I’m not.” He swallowed.

Neil reached out again, this time stopping an inch from Andrew’s wrist, He looked up without raising his head at Andrew. 

Andrew sighed. “Yes.” 

Neil nodded a thank you, carefully, but not gently taking Andrew’s wrist so as not to make him feel fragile. He turned Andrew’s arm so it was palm up. 

There were no new cuts. Neil mentally sighed in relief. Physically, his eyes closed for a second in relief. 

He swallowed again, and moved to the other arm, waited for another yes, and had the same reaction to the same result.

“Ok…ok. I -” Neil choked on emotion for half a breath. What was he supposed to say? Thank you? “Thank you.” Apparently. 

“What the fuck are you thanking me for dumbass?” Oops. 

“I just - for not going through with it, even though -” Neil swallowed, the shredded fabric in his left hand, “ - even though you could have.” 

Andrew didn’t reply. Just continued to keep his breathing controlled. 

Neil sniffed. He held his hand out, not saying anything. 

Andrew stared at Neil’s outstretched palm for a moment. Hot tears burning his nose, he blinked them away, and ever so slowly brought out his own hand and placed the knife in Neil’s hand. 

Neil made a fist around the blade, not moving for a moment, and then slowly retracting his fist. 

“Thank you.” 


	26. Chapter 26

**Anonymous** asked:

Could you do more Nathaniel stuff? Maybe the Foxes all seeing Nathaniel (not Neil) for the first time and not knowing what to do and Andrew is the only one who can help???

* * *

A/N: Not the same timeline as anything else, including the resolution series of prompts i finished recently 

tw: p slur, DID, (also prob dont need a tw but like…i hate how this turned out im sorry i suck) 

* * *

Neil had been playing faster, better, harder - more ruthless, than any game he’d played in a long while. 

He’d gotten a yellow card, and had only managed to dodge a red card because Wymack had grounds to challenge the call because the other team’s member had initiated the foul. 

The Foxes had won by 3 points. But it didn’t feel like much of a victory. They shuffled into the locker room. Kevin and Aaron were in charge of press. 

“Good game Foxes.” Wymack had called out, “Celebrate, enjoy yourselves, you deserve it. Neil -” Wymack waited till Neil looked up at him, “Play well, but don’t play dirty.” Neil nodded at him once, and Wymack left the locker room. 

“Anybody down for Eden’s?” Nicky called out. 

“Yes.” Came Kevin’s voice from the doorway, where he and Aaron had just walked in. 

“Dan?” Nicky turned to his captain. Who turned to her boyfriend, who shrugged in turn. 

She turned back, “Sure.” 

Nicky turned to Andrew, “Andrew -” He stopped short, “- something wrong?” 

Andrew had been staring at a shirtless Neil. 

Which, probably wasn’t uncommon, but they were in front of the rest of the Foxes. 

“Neil -” Came Matt’s hushed voice. 

“Oh my God…” Came Nicky’s as soon as he scanned over Neil’s torso. 

“Put your shirt back on, their gawking.” Came Andrew’s unamused voice. 

Neil grinned, “Let ‘em.” 

“Neil.” 

Neil’s grinned wider, “I might let them off, but you know it’s not.” 

Andrew grit his teeth, “Abram.” 

“Isn’t home right now, can I take a message?” 

Andrew took a couple threatening steps toward Neil - 

“…what the fuck is going on.” 

Andrew turned towards Dan, “You should go.” 

“Like hell.” Matt returned. “Neil, what -” 

“It’s not Neil.” Nathaniel snarled.

Matt took a step back from the venom he knew Neil was capable of, but never had directed at him. 

“I think. You should go.” Andrew was looking at Nathaniel, but his words were directed at the room full of Foxes. 

“Listen to the psycho, go on.” 

“Neil.” Renee spoke up. She had an icy expression, the coldest the Foxes had ever seen on her.  

“It’s Nathaniel. Which - “ Neil turned to the rest of them,”you should have figured out by now.” 

Allison stepped in front of Renee. “His name is Neil.” 

Nathaniel rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “Fuck off, princess.” 

Matt stepped back forward, in front of Dan.”You’re not Neil. And you’re not welcome here.” 

“Cry me a river, Boyd.” 

“Are you done?” Nathaniel turned to where Andrew’s voice was coming from. “Had your fun?” 

“Hm…I don’t know, are you done with him yet?” 

Andrew narrowed his eyes, “Don’t plan on it.” 

“Pity, this could be over so much sooner if you’d just - give up.” 

“Not fucking likely.” 

Nathaniel sighed, “Fine, perhaps next time.” 

“I wouldn’t count on it.” 

“Oh believe me, Andrew -.” Nathaniel sneered, as a chill went up Andrew’s spine, he never wanted to hear his name come out of Neil’s mouth the way that it just did. “ - there’ll be a next time.” 


	27. Chapter 27

asked: Hey there! Since I'm currently "sick" , can I have a sick!fic ?

* * *

So I sure hope you feel better considering it’s been a week since you sent this…but apparently you’re contagious bc guess who’s sick now 

also 

i assume you meant andreil? bc i (as of late) write mostly andreil? if not just shoot me another ask with which ship you were referring to and i’ll write them too lol 

Edit : it’s been a month, neither of us is sick, Andrew’s been sick for a month in my drafts, I’m sorry. 

* * *

He couldn’t breathe. 

His nose was congested and his throat burned and his chest ached.

He was miserable. 

“Neil” His voice came out sounding nothing like it usually did. He sneezed, groping around the bedside table for the box of tissues. He sneezed again. Pause. And twice more for good measure. “Ugh…”

“You called?” Came Neil’s voice from where he was leaning against the doorjamb of their room. 

“I’m dying. Do something.” Came the raspy reply.

Neil smiled, _drama queen. “_ Soup sound good?”  

Andrew didn’t answer but for shuddering once, and sinking further into his mountain of pillows. 

Neil let out a short laugh and made his way to the kitchen. It wasn’t even 10 minutes later that he heard a faint, “ _Neil_ …” come from their room. 

Neil furrowed his brow, that was weaker than a few minutes ago. 

“’Drew?” 

Andrew was shivering. 

“Damn.” 

Uncontrollable muscle spasms never felt good, and they looked even worse. Neil made his way to Andrew’s side. He pulled the sheets farther up over Andrew and placed a hand on his shoulder blade. 

“…dying. Do something…” 

“There’s not much I can do, ‘Drew. I’m making you that soup, just hold on.” 

Neil left a second time, this time Andrew didn’t call him back. 

When Neil walked back in with a mug full of chicken soup, the comforter had been thrown on the floor and a window was cracked open. 

Neil raise a brow, “It’s 20º out.” 

“It’s hot.” 

Neil sighed, he handed Andrew the mug and placed the back of his hand against Andrew’s forehead. “…and that’s a fever.” 

“Fuck off, I don’t get fevers.” 

“You said the same thing when I said you were sick, dumbass.” Neil smiled at his stubborn (read: idiotic) boyfriend.

“That’s because I don’t.” 

Neil sighed, “Sure thing.”

“Don’t mock me.” 

Neil smiled wider, “I’m gonna run to the store and get some medicine. _Don’t do anything stupid.”_

_“How can I, you’re taking all the stupid with you.”  
_

Neil barked a laugh, “Prove it by not doing anything stupid, then.” 

Andrew lifted a finger at Neil, “I _will_ kiss you.” He threatened. 

Neil grinned, his nose scrunching, “Bring it on, babe.” 


	28. Chapter 28

asked: I've an Andreil prompt with a lil of angst: Aaron is going to get hurt and Neil saves him (and gets hurt in his place)

* * *

Andrew saw it happen in slow motion…he couldn’t tell you when his heart dropped farther - when he saw the backliner zero in on brother or when Neil used his body as a shield and threw himself in front of his twin. 

* * *

The game had just ended. The Foxes had won by a close margin. The play clock had run out and the teams were on the field. The players exhausted after a long, hard-fought game. 

A backliner had started barrelling towards an oblivious Aaron, the closest Fox to him. Neil noticed, and at his speed, managed to intercept. 

Neil had shoved Aaron away hard enough that Aaron tripped and smacked into the barrier. He was dazed, but angry as to why Josten would do that. 

He turned, a grimace on his face, ready to scold Neil, “What -” He stopped short. 

Neil and a backliner from the Ravens were on the ground, feet from each other. The backliner, Russell something, Aaron’s brain supplied - 260, 6′4 - against Neil’s 140, 5′3″.

Russell rolled over and picked himself back up, he shook himself off and walked away after surveying Neil’s limp body with a shrug. 

Neil’s helmet was off. He was lying on the ground. He wasn’t moving, not signaling that he was about to get up. 

Aaron could see the pained expression on his face from where he was. Andrew rushed past him, “You fucking idiot.” He whispered furiously down at Neil. 

Aaron warily came close to the two of them. Andrew shot him a glare, “You. Fucking idiot.” he whispered furiously up at Aaron, a bit more forcefully than a second ago. 

Andrew rolled Neil onto his back, he looked up to Aaron. “Well!? You’re the goddamned doctor.” it wasn’t a request. Aaron knelt by Andrew’s side, he started at Neil’s neck and made his way down. 

Matt, Dan, and Wymack were making their way over. “What the hell happened?” Wymack and Dan demanded. 

“Nothing,” Andrew snapped the same second Aaron had started to say “I don’t know,” Neither looking up from Neil. 

Aaron turned slightly, not looking directly at Andrew.”Keep him up and talking, don’t let him pass out.” 

Abby jogged their way with a med kit. “Save it, he needs a stretcher.” Aaron said. 

Abby looked taken aback, “What…happened?” 

“He has a dislocated shoulder and a fractured wrist and probably a concussion and 4 broken ribs, “ here he paused, “-that could have punctured, a lung, or something…” 

“A stretcher.” That part was said through gritted teeth, from the other twin.  

Dan blew out a shaky breath, “Ok. Ok.” She turned to Wymack. 

He looked up from where he had his eyes trained on the twins to meet her eyes, “Yeah…Got it.” He and Matt left to find the paramedics that didn’t usually stay post-game. 

* * *

It was an hour later. 

They had to call 911 because there was no other medstaff left. Neil had been taken away in the back of an ambulance. They hadn’t let Andrew in. Wymack had gone instead. 

Andrew took his car, he’d gotten to the hospital only seconds after the ambulance had pulled in. 

Wymack and Andrew had been waiting for a while when the rest of the team had come in. 

“How is he?” Dan asked Wymack, speaking on behalf of the team. 

“He’s gonna be fine. Nothing too serious. And nothing the little shit hasn’t dealt with before.” Wymack reassured his team. 

Nicky made his way to Andrew. He passed him a bag, “Go change out. We’ll call if they say he can have visitors.” 

Andrew silently took the bag and made his way out of the waiting room. He was back less than 4 minutes later in fresh clothes and his hair sticking up in disarray, having washed his face. 

He sat down next to Aaron. They sat in silence for a minute before Andrew took a breath slightly more prolonged than the rest, “Jackson was coming straight for you. He ran to save your ass.” 

Aaron processed the information, “…why?” 

“You think I know?” 

Aaron scoffed, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” 

Andrew got up with an eyeroll. He pushed Aaron’s head down as he moved away, sitting closer to the door, away from the team. 

Aaron shook his head, with an eyeroll of his own. 

“ _Fucking idiot_.” 


	29. Chapter 29

asked: Not positive your taking prompts, but 29 Andreil?

* * *

Bia’s always taking prompts babe, but is Bia always writing?? no 

The way you said “I love you.“ : 29. Slowly, the words dripping from your tongue like honey

TW: blood, ( **Spoiler** :  ~~death)~~

* * *

It was so fucking cold. 

New York winters were brutal and Andrew hated them. But Neil had been living there for a couple years by then and it just made sense that Andrew move in once they were both signed to the same team. 

That did not mean that Andrew had to like going outside in the negative wind chills. Layering up and bundling up in scarves and gloves and boots just to step outside. 

It had snowed a couple days ago, dropping a solid foot that had since melted to half that. The temperature had heated up a bit as to let the snow melt, but was still cold enough. 

But then the temperature plummeted back down below freezing, and the melted snow became ice and the wet roads became dangerous. 

But life didn’t stop for anything. And so they bundled up and made their way to practice that morning. Traffic was bad and Andrew was cursing Neil and New York and cold the whole hour it took them to make the usual 10 minute drive to the court.   

Andrew was driving on the way back, the traffic had died down, but the roads were still slippery. Andrew was an experienced driver, he knew how to turn the wheel and when to break and how to break when their car did begin to skid. It wasn’t a problem. 

The problem, came at them at 50 miles an hour in a 35 zone. The problem came in the form of teenagers, less experienced drivers, and 4 of them at that. The problem still, came in the form of the guardrail that bent with the force of the crash and pierced through the driver’s side. 

Neil’s ears were left ringing after the noise of the initial collision and then the railing going through the exterior into the interior of their car.  

They were kids, no older than 23 at the most. One had flown through their front windshield at the moment of impact, she was strewn across the road at least 10 feet away. 

Neil undid his buckle, “Andrew!?” He wasn’t yelling, just concerned. Neil checked over himself, he felt blood at his temple and maybe a fractured wrist, but nothing major. 

The same could not be said of Andrew. Neil was looking right at him, but his brain couldn’t, rather didn’t want to, process what he was seeing. 

Andrew had been impaled by the guardrail, it had gone in from behind him at his hip and had gone straight out the same side, just in front of him. He had glass in his cheek, and right side from the windshield. The airbag was a shredded mess over the protruding part of the guardrail, hiding the worst of the wound.

“Andrew…Andrew Andrew Andrew” Neil knew he’d said his name more than he needed to, but no other words would come out, he just kept whispering Andrews name, as if it would magically make the wounds heal. “Andrew…” Neil swallowed, “Andrew, no” 

Andrew’s head moved the slightest, he was coming to. 

“Andrew! Andrewandrewandrewandrewandrew,” Neil paused for a breath, “Andrew please.” 

Andrew moaned in pain, Neil’s fingers were numb, his ears had started to ring again. “Andrew.” 

Andrew had come to and was looking around himself, hardly turning his head, he knew it was bad. He had taken a look at the railing and his shoulders had slumped. His breathing had sped up as he’d gained consciousness and Neil could feel his own breathing speed up in response. 

“Fu-ck - “ Andrew was panting, breaths coming in short bursts. Neil let out a breath of relief, He wasn’t gone. Andrew wasn’t gone. Andrew swallowed slowly, his breathing slowing down again, the adrenaline wearing off. 

Neil couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, he could hear yelling coming from behind him, maybe one of the kids was crying. maybe somebody was calling 911, maybe the wailing was really sirens, Neil didn’t know. 

All he knew was that Andrew was leaving him soon and he couldn’t - Neil couldn’t let him go. Neil didn’t want to let him go. 

“I -” Andrew was whispering this time around. His breathing had slowed even more, from its once-panting urgency. “loved - “ he swallowed painfully, his breaths coming slower still, “you.” 

Neil exhaled with the force of Andrew’s words. They were said lightly, softly, and oh so slowly, but Neil heard them for what they were. A goodbye, an apology, and a prayer, all at once. 

Neil couldn’t let Andrew go. 

“ _Thank - you.”_

Neil wouldn’t let Andrew go. 

“ -  _amazing.”_


	30. Chapter 30

_‘“It’s over.” Abby said as she gently combed her fingers through his hair. “It’s over. You’re going to be okay. We’ve got you.”_

_Neil breathed, in-out-in-out, too shallow to reach his lungs, too fast to do him any good. He flexed his fingers again, then clenched them, knowing he was splitting the scabs open, knowing he was pulling at burned flesh trying so hard to heal, but needing to know he still had a grip. He needed to know that his father and Riko had both lost, that he could walk away from this and step back onto the court as Neil Josten._

_For a moment that single-mindedness was enough to startle a bit of clarity into him, and Neil was desperately grateful he didn’t have the breath to laugh. He knew how panicked it would sound.’ (_ The King’s Men (All for the Game Book 3) Nora Sakavic)

asked : But what if he did start laughing?  Not giggling or smiling but like a panic attack laugh. Could you do a prompt about this?

* * *

You bet your ass I can, babe

* * *

Neil could feel his lip upturn before he could help it. He could feel the hysteria in his throat. It bubbled up and over and he choked on a breath.

He choked and coughed and then laughed breathlessly.

He laughed and he heard the panic - the desperation - the plea in his laugh.

Andrew tensed up behind him. Neil could feel the bed move as Andrew shifted closer.

“Neil…” Abby sounded helpless. She removed her hands from his hair. She sat back, giving him room, and watched him struggle to breathe and giggle at the same time. She could feel her heart clench at the sight of the boy in front of her. He’d been through so much, and she couldn’t do anything but watch as he fell apart before her. 

Neil giggled and giggled and lost his breath entirely so he was giggling both breathlessly and soundlessly.

“Neil.” Andrew spoke clearly right behind him. Neil heard but couldn’t do anything but continued to struggle to breathe. 

Neil knew this was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t have been laughing. He knew this was bad. But he couldn’t breathe. There were tears pushed out of the corner of his eyes. His face had gone from pale to red. He couldn’t stop. 

Andrew shifted again so he was on his knees on the bed behind Neil. He brought his arms around Neil, placed a fist against Neil’s abdomen and an open hand across his fist and pushed back and up. 

Neil’s throat opened enough with the heimlich to let out a forced breath. He gulped in a couple breaths before coughing twice. And then gulped in more air. 

He flashbacked to a moment in Chicago with his mother where she had pulled them both underwater until the hitmen had left. He hadn’t breathed for more than 2 minutes before his mother had let him surface. He had sounded then exactly as he did now. 

He blinked away the flashback before collapsing against Andrew’s chest. He shuddered twice before reaching up to wipe away the remnants of the tears. 

He flinched as he realized the tears made the open wounds on his hands and face sting terribly. Abby took his arm gently, but Neil flinched violently, pushing farther back on Andrew. 

Abby looked up into Andrew’s face. Andrew reached a hand out for the med kit in Abby’s hands. She looked back down at Neil and handed Andrew the kit silently, before making her way out of the hotel room. 

Andrew turned Neil so he was resting on the pillows on his side, and got up off the bed himself. 

He made his way around Neil and gently wiped away Neil’s tears and the blood. He cleaned out the bigger wounds and let Neil squeeze his arm when he dabbed at the wounds with alcohol. 

He stitched and bandaged and wrapped what he could and gave Neil some painkillers to take the edge off. 

Neil wouldn’t remember when Andrew finished wrapping his hands. He’d drifted off before then. He also wouldn’t remember Andrew leaning in and kissing his forehead after he was done. He wouldn’t remember Wymack coming in and Andrew telling Wymack how much Neil hated Baltimore. 

Neil wouldn’t remember Andrew’s arms encircling him or Andrew carrying him out to the bus. He wouldn’t remember how he’d gotten on the bus, only attributing it to a loss of time. 

He wouldn’t remember the faces the foxes made as Andrew walked past them all and gently deposited him on a seat before sitting on the seat directly next to him. 

And it wasn’t as if anybody would mention it. 


	31. Chapter 31

asked: I got feels for something potentially angsty...Imagine nicky feeling dejected over something and claiming that he was the worst parent ever and andrew getting p pissed bc he's lived with the worst parents ever

* * *

“How fucking dare you.” 

Nicky’s words derailed as Andrew’s steady voice cut him off. 

“What do you know about being a bad parent?” Andrew’s voice had no intonation, but Neil, Nicky, and Aaron knew just how much emotion was going into Andrew’s words. 

“A bad parent is not someone who is so selfish as to drop their whole life just to take care of their family. Not someone who put their life on hold to make sure that their cousins had a better life. Not someone who went out of their way to love and care and protect no matter how discouraged they got.” 

Andrew sounded bored, but Neil swallowed, the words striking a chord. 

Nicky looked taken aback, he wasn’t expecting Andrew of all people to speak up when he’d originally mentioned failing at being the twins’ parent. 

Andrew slowly shook his head, “Bad parents don’t care. They don’t love or nurture or protect. They hit and hurt and scream and yell and abuse.”

This time Aaron swallowed.

“Bad parents ignore, discourage, deter. They…dismiss.”

Nicky’s mouth opened, he wasn’t sure what to say, what to do. 

“Bad parents,” he broke off with a short huff, almost amused, “- bad parents are apathetic. They don’t listen. And if they listen, they don’t care. And if they listen and care,” At this Andrew grit his teeth, anger flashing across his face for half a second before being replaced with apathy, “ - they don’t believe you.” 

“You were never a bad parent dumbass. Stop beating yourself up about it.” 

Aaron turned his head so he was looking slightly up to Nicky, he swallowed hard, once. “Thanks.” 

Nicky’s breath hitched, but his voice was as steady as ever, “Of course…” He turned from Aaron to Andrew’s distant, bored expression, “ - always.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Anonymous** asked:

just a random angsty prompt: neil falling asleep around the other foxes and waking up from a really bad nightmare and andrew helping him and telling the other foxes to mind their own business or someting i love your writing!! xx

* * *

I’m sad so here you go 

* * *

Neil had fallen asleep on the couch after his and Kevin’s night practice. He’d had a stressful week and no sleep and too much practice and not enough food or water and midterms and nightmares keeping him up and a matchup against the Trojans the next day that Kevin was sure they were going to lose. 

So he’d knocked out in the locker room and Andrew had covered him in a blanket and sat on the ground near Neil, nodding off now and again. But refusing to leave Neil’s side, even though he knew there was no chance of Neil waking up from the comatose state he was in. 

It was hours later that Kevin, Wymack, Matt and Dan showed up. They saw Neil sleeping and decided to let him have it when they met Andrew’s eyes. 

Once the whole team was situated around Neil with Andrew still acting as a guard sitting in front of him. Wymack got started. 

“Alright team.” He wasn’t shouting, but his voice was loud enough to carry. “USC Trojans. No home field advantage. Tomorrow.” 

He paused to let the words sink in and then, “None of that matters. We’re going to try our damndest and the better team will win.” Wymack’s voice was gaining volume as he went. “It would be an honor to lose against the Trojans, we all know that. But they believe the same of us. You’ve got this. I believe, scratch that, I know -”

Wymack broke off, Neil had started whimpering while he’d been talking but Wymack’s voice had overtaken it. But now he was tossing as well, turning everyone’s attention from their coach to Neil.

Andrew turned and got up so he was on his knees in front of Neil. Neil hadn’t said anything, which was worrying Andrew more than anything. Usually he’d fight whatever nightmare was haunting him. But this one looked like Neil had given up before it could get worse. 

Andrew’s heart jumped to his throat as Nathaniel’s eyes flew open and a fist collided with Andrew’s chest. _Shit_.  

Nicky had stepped forward as he saw his cousin take a hit. But Andrew quickly shot him a glare that screamed ‘stay put.’

Andrew turned back to Nathaniel, who was staring at the scene in front of him. He was on high alert, his hands fisted and his eyes scanning the room for exits and escape routes. Everything about him screamed _run_. 

“Leave.” Andrew’s voice was hoarse. He was staring at Nathaniel, but his word was directed to everyone but him. No one argued, but most went unwillingly. Dan had to drag Matt out by the hand. Nicky only left when Andrew glared at him again. 

Aaron was the second last to leave, right before Wymack who hesitated at the door, “I can -” 

“Go.” Andrew didn’t sound angry, just tired - almost helpless. 

Wymack nodded, still hesitant, but left, the door thudding shut behind him. 

Andrew swallowed and turned back to Nathaniel, who was looking back at him warily. Andrew stood, and in a smooth motion, so did Nathaniel. Neil had kicked the blanket off when he’d started tossing. 

Nathaniel cocked his head slightly, “What?” 

“What?” Andrew was at a loss, he just wanted his Neil back. 

Nathaniel raised a brow, he huffed a soft laugh. “What do you want?” 

Andrew paused, something was wrong, terribly wrong. “Come back to me Abram.” 

If Andrew’s heart had jumped to his throat when Nathaniel’s eyes had opened, it fell to a pit at the bottom of his stomach at Nathaniel’s next words. 

“What are you talking about Andrew?” 


	33. Chapter 33

Prompt!! Andrew's thoughts on Neil becoming Captain? (Because let's face it, he's 10/10 so proud of his babe and 10/10 would let him know that in the most subtle ways -- kisses, soft touches, etc)

* * *

Only bc I owe y’all some fluff for all the angst 

(also not exactly what you asked for im sorry it wrote itself if you want me to give it another go I can do my best to) 

(1 year after the girls graduate, 2 after TKM)

* * *

Andrew was watching from his post at the goal as the team was practicing. 

Neil wasn’t as good a captain as Dan, not yet. But he was doing as best he could, and it seemed to be working for everyone but Jack. 

“Get up off your ass and fucking practice!” Neil wasn’t yelling so much as talking really loudly into Jack’s face. Jack was taller, but Neil was keeping him in check as much as he could from a head shorter. 

Andrew snorted softly from where he was, shaking his head in amusement. Jack had no good reason not to be putting effort into practicing, it wasn’t as if he didn’t need it. He was just messing with Neil and Neil was letting Jack get to him. 

Neil let them go a half hour later. Andrew showered and changed with the rest of them but had to wait for Neil to finish up whatever he had to before they could go back to their room. 

Neil got into Andrew’s passenger side with a groan. “I fucking hate exy.” 

“Liar.” 

“…Yeah. But captaining these idiots - that I hate.” 

“Liar.” 

Neil contemplated, then smiled, “I hate you.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes, he bit his tongue to keep his lips from twitching. “Junkie.” 

“Bitch.” 

“Oh?”

Neil considered and then his ears turned red. “Fuck you.” 

“Buy me dinner first.”

Neil smiled contentedly before leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes until Andrew parked. 

When the car turned off Neil groaned again, “I don’t wanna get up.” He slurred. 

Andrew ignored him and got out himself. Neil was too tired to care if Andrew left him in the car, he was losing consciousness quickly.

He cracked an eye open as his door opened. Andrew was standing outside patiently, waiting on Neil. 

“’Dreww” Neil complained. 

Andrew held his own hand up, palm down in front of Neil. Neil stared at in confusion for a second before Andrew grabbed his hand and pulled him out. 

“Hmph” Neil huffed, but he didn’t mind his hand in Andrew’s. They walked leisurely to the door, Andrew let Neil’s hand go to scan his ID and open the door but grabbed it once again as soon as they were inside. 

He held on until they made it to their room. He let go and went to the kitchen as Neil collapsed on the couch, his legs over the armrest. 

Andrew grabbed a water bottle and a granola bar and tsk’ed when he saw Neil on the couch. He nudged Neil with his knee, but Neil only shifted. Andrew sighed and then put the water and bar on the coffee table before scooping Neil up. He walked to their room and deposited Neil on his bed before climbing in with him. 

“Mmh, I have homework.” Neil sighed, his eyes closed. 

Andrew shifted so he was hovering over Neil, “Yes or no?” 

The right side of Neil’s lips lifted in a smirk, his eyes still closed, “Bitch.” 

Andrew kissed Neil’s jaw once, “Yes or no?” he asked again. 

“Mhmm” Neil sighed. He opened his eyes so they were half-lidded. He kissed Andrew for a bit before letting his head fall back. He moaned, then sighed. “M’tired.” 

“Turn around.” 

“’Drew…” 

“Yes or no?” 

Neil breathed in through his mouth and complied. 

Andrew got up off the bed. Neil had nodded off by the time Andrew came back. He woke with a start as Andrew got back in bed. 

Andrew swung a leg over Neil so he was straddling the back of Neil’s thighs. Neil burrowed farther into the pillows, “I’m gonna fall asleep real soon, ‘Drew.”

Neil didn’t hear anything but smelt - ”Is that incense?” 

Andrew snorted, “Oil.” 

“What are you…?” 

Neil heard the slippery sound of Andrew rubbing his hands together. “Take your shirt off.” 

This time Neil snorted, but complied nonetheless. His shirt had ridden up when he’d turned, he grabbed the hem with one hand and pulled until it was off. 

Andrew put both hands, palm down on the small of Neil’s back. He’d heated it up enough that Neil didn’t flinch. 

He moved his hands up to Neil’s shoulders and down to his hips, spreading the oil before starting to knead. 

Neil came undone under his fingers.

The tension left his shoulders and he moaned under Andrew’s ministrations as time went by. 

Andrew used his thumbs to press circles up and down Neil’s spine.

 He used the heel of his palm to work Neil’s shoulders. 

Neil shivered when Andrew’s fingers pressed against his sides and along his ribs. 

Andrew’s knuckles kneaded Neil’s lower back and Neil melted.

Neil was practically floating when Andrew moved off him. 

“Mm, slight - problem.” 

“I’d be offended if there wasn’t.” 

“You? Offended? Ha.” 

Andrew narrowed his eyes at Neil, “…bitch.” 

Neil grinned. “You gonna help me or?”

“Buy me dinner first.” 


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anon asked: I've an Andreil prompt with a lil of angst: Aaron is going to get hurt and Neil saves him (and gets hurt in his place)

Andrew saw it happen in slow motion…he couldn’t tell you when his heart dropped farther - when he saw the backliner zero in on brother or when Neil used his body as a shield and threw himself in front of his twin. 

* * *

The game had just ended. The Foxes had won by a close margin. The play clock had run out and the teams were on the field. The players exhausted after a long, hard-fought game. 

A backliner had started barrelling towards an oblivious Aaron, the closest Fox to him. Neil noticed, and at his speed, managed to intercept. 

Neil had shoved Aaron away hard enough that Aaron tripped and smacked into the barrier. He was dazed, but angry as to why Josten would do that. 

He turned, a grimace on his face, ready to scold Neil, “What -” He stopped short. 

Neil and a backliner from the Ravens were on the ground, feet from each other. The backliner, Russell something, Aaron’s brain supplied - 260, 6′4 - against Neil’s 140, 5′3″.

Russell rolled over and picked himself back up, he shook himself off and walked away after surveying Neil’s limp body with a shrug. 

Neil’s helmet was off. He was lying on the ground. He wasn’t moving, not signaling that he was about to get up. 

Aaron could see the pained expression on his face from where he was. Andrew rushed past him, “You fucking idiot.” He whispered furiously down at Neil. 

Aaron warily came close to the two of them. Andrew shot him a glare, “You. Fucking idiot.” he whispered furiously up at Aaron, a bit more forcefully than a second ago. 

Andrew rolled Neil onto his back, he looked up to Aaron. “Well!? You’re the goddamned doctor.” it wasn’t a request. Aaron knelt by Andrew’s side, he started at Neil’s neck and made his way down. 

Matt, Dan, and Wymack were making their way over. “What the hell happened?” Wymack and Dan demanded. 

“Nothing,” Andrew snapped the same second Aaron had started to say “I don’t know,” Neither looking up from Neil. 

Aaron turned slightly, not looking directly at Andrew.”Keep him up and talking, don’t let him pass out.” 

Abby jogged their way with a med kit. “Save it, he needs a stretcher.” Aaron said. 

Abby looked taken aback, “What…happened?” 

“He has a dislocated shoulder and a fractured wrist and probably a concussion and 4 broken ribs, “ here he paused, “-that could have punctured, a lung, or something…” 

“A stretcher.” That part was said through gritted teeth, from the other twin.  

Dan blew out a shaky breath, “Ok. Ok.” She turned to Wymack. 

He looked up from where he had his eyes trained on the twins to meet her eyes, “Yeah…Got it.” He and Matt left to find the paramedics that didn’t usually stay post-game. 

* * *

It was an hour later. 

They had to call 911 because there was no other medstaff left. Neil had been taken away in the back of an ambulance. They hadn’t let Andrew in. Wymack had gone instead. 

Andrew took his car, he’d gotten to the hospital only seconds after the ambulance had pulled in. 

Wymack and Andrew had been waiting for a while when the rest of the team had come in. 

“How is he?” Dan asked Wymack, speaking on behalf of the team. 

“He’s gonna be fine. Nothing too serious. And nothing the little shit hasn’t dealt with before.” Wymack reassured his team. 

Nicky made his way to Andrew. He passed him a bag, “Go change out. We’ll call if they say he can have visitors.” 

Andrew silently took the bag and made his way out of the waiting room. He was back less than 4 minutes later in fresh clothes and his hair sticking up in disarray, having washed his face. 

He sat down next to Aaron. They sat in silence for a minute before Andrew took a breath slightly more prolonged than the rest, “Jackson was coming straight for you. He ran to save your ass.” 

Aaron processed the information, “…why?” 

“You think I know?” 

Aaron scoffed, “Yeah. Yeah, I do.” 

Andrew got up with an eyeroll. He pushed Aaron’s head down as he moved away, sitting closer to the door, away from the team. 

Aaron shook his head, with an eyeroll of his own. 

“ _Fucking idiot_.” 


End file.
